A Typical Weekday in My World

A Day In My Life

7:03 am - Both iPhone alarms go off. At the same time, even though both alarms are always in the same spot. One should be set for later, but somewhere along the lines they got messed up. Boyfriend shuts them off the gets comfy again. I'm half asleep, but still annoyed because I know we need to get up, and the person who shuts the alarms off is responsible for getting lazy asses out of beds. 

7:10 am - We finally get up, get dressed, and most days wake up the girls. Rarely are they up before us. Lucky, I know. I grab Chloe from her crib, and lately let her pick out which long-sleeve shirt she wants to wear. I want her to wear long sleeve ones because soon it'll be too hot for them. 

7:20 am - We make it downstairs and throw a breakfast together for the girls. Usually cereal or toast. When we have a bit more time it might be pancakes or omelets. 

7:25 am - I sneak back upstairs to grab my phone (take 3/4 of the above photos), and lay in bed for a few minutes because I'm cranky and don't want to deal with anyone but Chloe at the moment. 

7:40 am - Get the girls dressed for the day. Madi fights it the whole time, just narrowly escaping a time-out, which she ends up getting soon after when she still fights to get her coat and boots on. 

7:55 am - Out the door, hopefully, with Eric with me on Wednesday and Fridays (which are days that we do our day on a schedule a half hour later). Alone with Chloe on Mondays and Tuesdays. Just me and the girls on Thursdays. Off to daycare we go. 

8:05 - 8:15 am - Arrive at daycare. Take off coat and put on indoor shoes on Madi. Hugs and kisses for Madi, then she runs off. Talk to the daycare chef about her diet for a few minutes, then repeat the same routine for Chloe. Hugs and kisses, then (today only) without being prompted she tells me 'I la', which means 'I love you'. It kills me a little. I'll probably never forget it.

8:19 am - Drive-thru for coffee on somedays. I've skipped it a lot lately, but today I also skipped breakfast, so I got a cinnamon roll. 

8:25 am - 4:30 pm - Arrive at work. Check my email, my voicemail, my Facebook. Do some work. This is where it gets boring. I sporadically eat throughout the day. Snacks, maybe leftovers from the night before, or a nasty cup of microwave KD. Yum yum. Time flies from 4:00 until 4:30 and I'm free to go. To daycare, of course. 

4:45 pm - Arrive at daycare. The girls are usually outside if it's nice out. Grab whichever one sees me first. Usually it's Chloe because her play area is smaller, and Madi is too busy playing to even look up. I grab Madi second, and try to get Chloe to stay in one spot while I dump Madi's boots that are full of sand. Drag two kids to the car and away we go. 

5:00 pm - Drag the girls in, wash their hands, and change their clothes if needed. Turn on some cartoons and give sippy cups and hopes that distracts them so I can whip up some kind of a supper. It works for Madi, almost never for Chloe. She's an attention freak. 

5:15 or 5:30 pm - The kids eat. Rarely, but sometimes I eat with them. Rarely, but sometimes I'll do a few dishes. Usually I just supervise the eating, since Chloe likes to throw it more than eat it some days. 

6:15 pm - Some days we have to leave at this time to pick Eric up at work, now that his car is broken down and we're sharing a car. We did this yesterday. 

6:33 pm - Daddy was late! But arrived a minute later, looking like a creep with a tuxedo t-shirt on. I'd like to burn that shirt. (Ps, how do you like our sunglass collection? We still have two more toddler pairs that are missing from the pile.)

7:00 pm - Snack time! Applesauce or yogurt or raisins or crackers, etc. 

7:20 pm - A new routine: read a book in our bed while they drink their milk. It was semi-successful. They listened to some of the book, but didn't drink much milk. 

7:30 pm - Bedtime! Insert sighs of relief. 

7:35 pm - 9:30 pm - All the relaxing in the world. 

9:30 pm - Bedtime is on my mind usually. 

10:15 pm - Bedtime! Or close to it. And luckily we usually get to sleep through the night until the alarm goes off again at 7:03 am. 

And that, my friends, is what our days are like lately. 

3 Things I've Been Neglecting

What happens when I walk into the room and boyfriend starts taking my picture with my own phone.

3 Things I've Been Neglecting

Crafting

All things crafting. Like when I decorated the letters of Chloe's name with Mod Podge and scrapbook paper. I started some for Madi before Christmas and haven't gotten too far with them. I miss crafting, but never want to do it when free time actually rolls around.

Reading

I used to be able to read a book in a week or so. I got an E-reader in October, hoping that it would get me back into reading. I've been reading the same book ever since. 50 Shades of Grey. I'm just not getting into it. Hopefully the next book I pick will pull me in a little more. 

Me

I don't relax. I don't remember how. I think I need to do the two things above, and re-figure this one out. 

3 Things I've Been Doing Too Much

iPhone

I play on it a little too much. I try to put it away at home if the girls want to play with me, but if they're immersed in tv or playing with each other, it's fair game. 

Cleaning

Nothing is ever clean enough, but sometimes I just need to let it go and relax. 

Being Bored

It's time to just start living, stop worrying. Just enjoy the moment. I really need to work on this.

What are your three things?

Ps: Not pregnant. High five?

Life is Blah

Lately I've been feeling 'meh' a lot. 

'Meh' is such a descriptive word, isn't it? 

Now please don't tell me I'm pregnant, cause I'm not, and if I was you guys would be the first to know. And by first, I mean last. Sorry. 

Lately mornings have been hard. 

The last time I got a good night's sleep was during our weekend away. I've been so tired since then that it's hard to get up. Because I'm so tired, it makes me feel... not sick, but icky... every morning. And I have very little appetite and zero energy until close to lunch time. Some days it's even hard to force down my coffee, but I'm pretty sure that's the only reason I wake up at all. 

I don't know what's wrong with me, but I'm not a fan. 

I've also been feeling a little crappy... emotionally... lately. I never want to do much, and don't get excited about a whole lot. Except Chloe. That child is amazing, but that's another story. 

Or some sleep. Maybe that'll fix everything. 

I doubt it. 

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

I've never known how to answer that question. There has never been a clear answer. There's the 'where I want' to be answer, and then where I actually feel like I'll be. And then there's what really happens. And while it might sound insanely negative, there are no happily ever afters. There's just reality. Whether or not it's your happily ever after is really your choice, or your option to change. 

Let's look at how '5 years later' really ends up. 

My answer when I was in high school

I see myself either in college, or just graduating college. Looking for a job related to my education. Doing everything I can to make a better future for myself. I'm going to save money, and not end up living like my mother did - low income, living from paycheck to paycheck. 

The reality:

Five years later, I graduated from college. I was certified to be a legal secretary, but I doubted my education. I didn't feel in any way prepared. I worked at Wendy's. I lived in another province, and chose to move back home. I couldn't find any kind of full-time job, and struggled to get by with the help of my grandfather as I lived with a roommate. 

My answer when I was in college: 

I'd like to say my answer was optimistic - that I was going to find a great job and go on to do great things, but I was terrified. I didn't see everything as working out. I wanted to find an amazing job and live a great life. I was starting to feel like I was just a mess. No guy would ever truly like me. What a sob-fest. 

The reality:

Five years later, I was single after a long relationship, and that was my choice. I didn't have an amazing job, but I had a full-time job that I loved. It was about this time that I moved into an apartment by myself (kind of), and was finally financially stable for the first time in my life. The most unexpected part? I had a little girl, and not long after that, I met an amazing guy. Funny how things work out. 

My answer now:

I don't know where I'll be when it comes to my career, but I hope when this job finishes, there's another great job waiting for me. The girls will be 6 and 7. In school. And they had better be doing fantastic. I'll be with the same guy, married or about to be. We may have another child, or it might be in the planning stages. A boy, I'm hoping. And we'll all be rich and successful. And we'll all live happily ever after. I really hope. 

Where do you see yourself in five years?

Our Daily Schedule, These Days

I was reading a post today on people's everyday schedule's over at Shannon's blog. She finds them interesting to read, and I couldn't agree more. It's kind of fun to see how other people do it, so I'm going to do the same. This is how a typical weekday goes in our household. 

7:10am - Alarm goes off. I drag myself out of bed and get dressed. 

7:15am - Wake Chloe up if she didn't wake me up first, get her out of that overnight diaper and drag her downstairs for her breakfast. While she eats, I pack my lunch, get her daycare bag ready and gather anything else we need for the day. Sometimes I eat breakfast, but these days that's rare. 

7:40am - (She's a slow eater) I get Chloe out of her high chair and change her into her daycare clothes. If she's quick eating and dressing, we get to take our time and play on the floor for 10 minutes or so. Boyfriend usually drags his butt downstairs around this time. 

7:50am - Get our stuff and ourselves packed into the car

8:00-8:10am - Drop Chloe off at daycare. 

8:25-4:30pm - Arrive at work, punch in, update my voicemail, check my email, answer phone calls, etc. Eat randomly throughout the day at my desk. Continue with this all day. 

4:30pm - Leave work and either run a quick errand or go right to daycare to pick Chloe up. 

5-5:30pm - Arrive home with one cranky, hungry Chloe. Immediately strap her in the highchair and give her food as fast as I can. 

6:00pm - Bathtime

6:15-7:15pm - Mommy and Chloe time

7:15-7:30pm - Bedtime, and depending on boyfriend's schedule, potential supper time for me and him. 

7:30pm - OMG relax time. 

9:30-11pm - Bedtime somewhere in here. And we're lucky to usually sleep right through the night until 7am. 

Good times. 

There's just no time

I've been struggling lately.

 

I survived the move without any kind of break down, but now that we're into the apartment, all the little stresses are getting to me.

 

And today they're getting to me big time.

 

I have reasons to believe that Chloe's back into teething mode. (Didn't we just get over that last tooth?) There has been excessive whining, and it looks like the rash is coming back.

 

There is barely anytime to eat. There is very little time to get stuff put away. I can barely keep up with the daily stuff like dishes. There's no time for groceries without Chloe going into major whine mode.

 

Boyfriend even spent part of his day off cleaning the old apartment for me.

 

I'm just too overwhelmed with stuff to do, and absolutely no time to do it.

 

That, paired up with budgeting and other personal pain-in-the-ass things, as well as work stresses, I am not keeping up so well.

 

I'm cranky. I'm stressed. I'm mean to everyone. I suck.

 

And ain't nobody got time for that.

 

But tomorrow, I think I'm going to do a small giveaway. Sponsored by just me and my money. So come back for that!

Time for some Holiday cheer up in here

This is how busy I am at work today.

 

But I'm taking a quick break to say hi.

 

We still have no internet at the new apartment townhouse. I can't believe we live in a townhouse.

 

I started organizing the basement last night. The basement where we basically threw everything to get it out of the main living areas upstairs. The basement where my craft area is going to be. You have no idea how much that excites me.

 

We put up our tree last night. It's lacking something, but I can't figure out what. It's artificial, and not a very full tree, and that makes me sad. It also means I need to buy a nice tree after the holidays when they're on sale.

 

Boyfriend doesn't know it yet but I might set up my smaller tree in the basement. Holiday cheer all over the place.

 

Oh how I love Christmas.

 

We watched Home Alone last night while we set up the tree.

 

I can't wait to do more Christmas shopping on my next pay day.

 

How are all your holiday preparations coming along?

Christmas Shopping and Moving Weekend

I don't want to forget about my blog in all the craziness of moving, which is this weekend, but even at work there just hasn't been any time. The hotel I work for hosts a Christmas dinner theatre and I've been working hard at booking, taking payments, doing seating charts and filling out the paper work. It's super busy, but I love it. And that's not even my original job - I'm still booking meeting rooms and all that regular stuff I always do. Oh how I love this job.

So I've been busy with that and moving, and everyday life.

 

Today I made a huge Christmas purchase, first thing in the morning at Toys R Us for our girls. Boyfriend was sweet enough to drive up with me in his own car, meet me there, I paid and he dragged it home while I went to work. I sure do love Black Friday sales when they work out in my favor.

 

I feel a little out of the loop since I'm lacking an "I'm Thankful" post this week, but I'm Canadian so I was thankful in October. I'm still thankful now, so read that post if you want a Thanksgiving-related one.

 

If not, you made it to the end of this boring post, and for that I thank you. Now I need to go get me a coffee. Hope you had a lovely Thanksgiving, my American friends.

I don't feel like a college kid faking adulthood anymore

Sometimes when I take a look around, it leaves me breathless for a moment. 

I just can't wrap my head around how much life has changed in less than a year. 

Take this apartment, for instance. 

Almost a full year ago, I moved into this apartment, terrified about how I was going to make it on my own. I didn't know how I would get caught up on the bills by myself. I didn't know if I could survive alone with Chloe on so little sleep. I moved in here with the ugliest, free, dirty white couch and love seat that you could ever imagine. So gross, that my mother couldn't wait to buy me sheets to put over them. 

Somehow, I got into my own routine with Chloe. I got caught up on the bills, and still had a decent Christmas. I upgraded my gross off-white couch, to a less gross, free blue couch and chair set. 

I look around the room now, and I'm no longer watching tv on this baby: 

This is my tv:

Except right now it's my bedroom tv. And there's always clothing and clutter in front of it. This photo was taken last night. 

I don't sit on a dirty old couch set. I sit on a pretty couch set, and my apartment looks like adults live here, instead of young college students. 

Yes, these might all be material things, but I look around at it all and it makes me so happy. I'm not struggling to get by. I have nice things. I'm officially an adult. I provide for my baby. I have a place that I'm not embarrassed to bring people to. I look around and I feel like I'm doing something right. I'm not a kid any more. 

I'm a big girl now. 

I'm so happy with how far I've come since last year. 

Was there a moment in your life where you just looked around and felt so happy with how things have changed? 

Time to enjoy the little things

Happiness.

Isn't that all anyone's ever looking for in life?

We try to find love because it makes us happy. We buy things because they make us happy. We have children because they occasionally make us happy.

But even when we get what we want, we're not always satisfied.

It's always the little things.

With me, if you look at the big  picture, things are great. Things are pretty much amazing.

My daughter is amazing. She's semi healthy. She plays, she learns, she cries. But she also likes to try to get up too early sometimes. She's cranky a lot. And she barely eats. And too much I forcus on the buts, instead of the wonderful things.

I've also got an amazing boyfriend. Some of the things he does still catches me off-guard. Like the day he got off work before I did and had dinner ready, the dishes done, and laundry in the dryer by the time I got home. He picks up the toys when the girls are in bed without being asked. He'll change and dress Chloe sometimes without being asked. But when I get up in the morning with a baby and he gets to sleep in, sometimes I want to punch him in the face.

Okay, bad example because that has more to do with jealousy and not being a morning person. And I kid. I don't want to punch him. I just want to beat him with pillows and make him feel my pain.

But he's not perfect either. And more often than I'd like, I find myself annoyed with the little things when I shouldn't be. The good outweighs the bad times a million.

I am grateful for all the good things in my life, but too often I find myself focusing on those little annoyances, and forgetting the big picture. I want to enjoy the good, instead of alway noticing the bad.

When my daughter got up at 6:30am this morning, 40 minutes before our alarm was due to go off, I was annoyed. But she was in a great mood and it meant that we got to play for awhile. Usually we only play in the evenings, and she's tired and cranky.

In the end, are we trying so hard to be happy that really we're the ones messing it up by not appreciating the little moments?

My new goal is to do exactly that - appreciate the little moments.

And I want you to do it too. Think of a few times today that something bothered you, even just the slightest, and think of something good about it.

If you're feeling really ambitious, blog about it. But if you do, please send me the link.

I am driving in style

Friday was my birthday. 

It was nothing too crazy. 

Maybe I should rewind to Thursday. Thursday was a bunch more exciting. 

On Thursday I went out and got myself a huge birthday present - a huge bank loan. 

But it got me this:

My amazing 2010 Kia Forte. For someone who only owned a 2001 hand-me-down Chevy Cavalier, this is big news. It's all power windows, mirrors, keyless entry, and it hooks up with my phone by Bluetooth, so I can basically use my phone over the radio in my car. The radio even displays the caller ID. I am in love. 

So this was Thursday, then Friday was my birthday. 

Chloe wasn't feeling well in the morning. I blame teething. I drugged her up and put her to bed to wait it out and she woke up super happy. I shipped her off to daycare and made it to work a bit before lunch. 

I worked all day, then had dinner with my boy, then met up with my mother and her boyfriend and a close friend and we all had a couple of drinks and went out to a pub. It was pretty low-key. 

Maybe I'm growing up, because spending the afternoon shopping with boyfriend was probably my favorite part of the weekend. 

Scratch that. The nap I had Sunday morning was probably my favorite part of the weekend. 

I'm terrified for my financial future, but super excited about the car. Things are finally coming together. 

Next up? Apartment hunting. 

20 Facts About My Life, Lately

1. It has now been three months that I haven't had a car. I hate hate hate it. I will never take a car for granted again. It's also been over a month since I sold the thing.

2. Chloe had her one year needles yesterday. She got pretty upset during, but stopped crying almost immediately and went back to being happy. She was pretty warm and cranky in the morning, by Tylenol seemed to fix her back up.

3. We're moving in less than two months. Boyfriend and I are getting our own place as soon as my current lease is up. I'm really hoping to find a decent-priced three bedroom apartment, but at best we'll probably just end up with a two bedroom. Hopefully it's bigger.

4. My birthday is almost here.

5. For the first time in my life, my budget doesn't look scary to me at all.

6. I love my job. I love it more when it's busy.

7. Chloe's had a cough and runny nose since last week. She must be used to me wiping her nose, because she got a hold of a piece of Kleenex yesterday, and started wiping her doll's nose with it.



8. I lost $40 in an ATM last week. Seriously. I requested $380, and it gave me $340. When I called the toll-free line, they said they may give me the money back if it checks out that I wasn't lying. I'll never trust an ATM in a convenience store again.

9. I've been pretty sad lately. The reasons, I don't want to get into. I just hope the circumstances change soon.

10. It's Friday afternoon, and I'm not looking forward to the weekend at all. I'd like to say 'what's wrong with me', but I already know.

What have you been up to lately?

A Week Without Baby

I started my new job on Wednesday. 

I am now a conference coordinator. I book conference spaces for a hotel. A secretary-type job, but that's the kind I like. So far, I've only completed two days of work, but I know I'll like the job. 

I don't have much to talk about with my munchkin still being at my mothers. I pick her up tonight, and I'm pretty excited to see her. She's been sick with a fever, but Mom found evidence that it might be a huge tooth coming in. Poor girl. Oh, how I miss her. 

With her gone I've spent some time cleaning the apartment - sorting baby clothes and mopping floors. I've shopped a little. I've taken the bus home from work for the first time. 

Really, there's been nothing interesting to report. 

So this concludes my really boring update on what's been going on lately. 

Life is Killing Me

Life is really trying to kick my ass lately. 

I don't know if I narrowly escaped death, and in return I get tons of bad luck. I don't know if it's a life lesson to teach me that material things don't matter. Whatever the case, I'm not sure how much more I can take. 

It all started with the flu in early July. I'm terrified of throwing up, and it only usually happens every few year. That was certainly put to test. Shortly after that, my car started smoking, broke down, is too broke to be fixed, and has been sitting lifeless in my parking lot ever since. 

I had come to term with the loss of my car, and things were looking up a bit as I started working up a nice chunk of savings to buy a new car. I was skimping on groceries, under paying my bills, and cutting corners everywhere I could. 

Fast forward to about two weeks ago. I got a letter in the mail from H&R Block saying my tax refund was less than what they originally paid me, and I had 10 days to pay them more than $500. There's a good way to slow down my savings. 

And just when I'd finally started coming to term with the loss of my car, and my car savings, my computer went and died last night. Completely dead. 

My ex, who knows a bit about computers, looked at it and it seems the hard drive is dead, and nothing can be recovered from it. Not only did I lose my computer, but I also lost all of Chloe's photos and videos from birth right up until yesterday. All that's left is what's on my camera memory card from the last few days. If you knew me at all, you would know that this is a huge tragedy to me. Obviously not as bad as death, or something bad happening to a loved one, but losing all those memories is at the top of the list of the worst things that could happen to me. 

To top it all off, due to some confusion on both our parts, I won't be using the babysitter I had lined up for Chloe starting October 1st. I'm starting fresh looking for childcare, and I only have a month to do so. 

Boyfriend has been absolutely amazing through all of this - letting me use his car, driving me around, letting me use his computer, entertaining me when I feel like my head is going to explode, helping with Chloe when she won't go back to sleep from 1-3am. He is the only reason I have any sanity left. 

So if I go a little crazy, which I'm sure I already have, that's why. 

And if I'm barely around any more when it comes to blogging, that's also why. 

* This is the place where I'd throw in a photo, but I don't have photos any more *

Monday Blahs, all Week Long

The weekend was a decent one. We took the girls for a walk to the carnival, which wasn't a huge deal to them (since they're 11 and 19 months), but was a nice outing for us. We had lots of playtime, double baby bath time, and lots of crying fits. It was a decent weekend spent with my favorite people, but didn't leave me with any kind of happy feeling.

My head is still kind of in the same mind frame as I was in on Thursday. I've just got this lingering 'meh' feeling that I can't seem to shake. 

I know a lot of it has to do with the end of summer. I always hate the end of summer, although for the first time in my life I'm actually looking forward to slightly cooler weather. I'd rather a day where we can go to the park and be comfortable, not sweaty.

So the end of the summer is nearing, which makes me sad. On top of that, all the big things set to happen this summer have happened. My friend got married, I went to visit my best friends at a cottage for the weekend, friends from all over the country came to visit then went back to their homes, and boyfriend moved in at the beginning of the month. 

I always feel a little sad when everything I was looking forward to is done, especially when there's nothing at all exciting in the near future to look forward to. And that's where I am now. 

The only thing I have coming up is Chloe's birthday, and then I'm back to work the week after.

Back to work full-time for the first time since the beginning of September 2011. That's kind of huge, and with my current lack of car, it's just a lot of stress. 

Right now I have nothing to look forward to but stress, and it's getting to me. 

While I still have all those little great things to look forward to - like a few more weeks of freedom with my daughter, I'm just stuck in this 'meh' place, and I really want out. 

I want that good feeling again. 

Life Isn't Supposed to Be Perfect

Do you ever have those days, where really everything is going pretty great, but you have this nagging unhappy feeling because things just aren't perfect? 

Nothing significant has happened. You know you have it pretty good. But little, minor details are just bringing you down?

You know you're being stupid, so you try to ignore it. You listen to some music, drink your coffee, go on with your day. But it's always there in the back of your mind. 

You tell yourself you're crazy for even thinking about this feeling more than once, and especially for sitting down to write about it, yet you do. 

You think about it some more, and yep, you're just being an annoyance to yourself. 

Life really is great. Even the things you're thinking about are pretty good. You can barely even think about a bad thing in your life right now. 

Yet that nagging feeling just won't go away. 

You've been walking around feeling on top of the world for days now, and you're just not ready to give that up to go back to the ordinary feeling of regular old everyday life. 

You want perfection back. Great is great, but great is not perfection. Perfection is pretty hard to give up.