Life is Killing Me

Life is really trying to kick my ass lately. 

I don't know if I narrowly escaped death, and in return I get tons of bad luck. I don't know if it's a life lesson to teach me that material things don't matter. Whatever the case, I'm not sure how much more I can take. 

It all started with the flu in early July. I'm terrified of throwing up, and it only usually happens every few year. That was certainly put to test. Shortly after that, my car started smoking, broke down, is too broke to be fixed, and has been sitting lifeless in my parking lot ever since. 

I had come to term with the loss of my car, and things were looking up a bit as I started working up a nice chunk of savings to buy a new car. I was skimping on groceries, under paying my bills, and cutting corners everywhere I could. 

Fast forward to about two weeks ago. I got a letter in the mail from H&R Block saying my tax refund was less than what they originally paid me, and I had 10 days to pay them more than $500. There's a good way to slow down my savings. 

And just when I'd finally started coming to term with the loss of my car, and my car savings, my computer went and died last night. Completely dead. 

My ex, who knows a bit about computers, looked at it and it seems the hard drive is dead, and nothing can be recovered from it. Not only did I lose my computer, but I also lost all of Chloe's photos and videos from birth right up until yesterday. All that's left is what's on my camera memory card from the last few days. If you knew me at all, you would know that this is a huge tragedy to me. Obviously not as bad as death, or something bad happening to a loved one, but losing all those memories is at the top of the list of the worst things that could happen to me. 

To top it all off, due to some confusion on both our parts, I won't be using the babysitter I had lined up for Chloe starting October 1st. I'm starting fresh looking for childcare, and I only have a month to do so. 

Boyfriend has been absolutely amazing through all of this - letting me use his car, driving me around, letting me use his computer, entertaining me when I feel like my head is going to explode, helping with Chloe when she won't go back to sleep from 1-3am. He is the only reason I have any sanity left. 

So if I go a little crazy, which I'm sure I already have, that's why. 

And if I'm barely around any more when it comes to blogging, that's also why. 

* This is the place where I'd throw in a photo, but I don't have photos any more *