Our Easter Weekend Away

This Easter was a great one. We spent the weekend away, staying with some of my closest friends (a married couple). The drive up was difficult - Chloe was not impressed with the sun in her eyes, and kept throwing sippy cups, toys, even treats we gave her as a distraction. I was relieved when we finally got there. She doesn't know my friends too well, since they live so far away, so I tried to explain to her who they were - that they were at her birthday party. That wasn't a great idea because she then thought we were going to her birthday party. Luckily she forgot about that by the time we got there. 

Immediately when we arrived, I realized I forgot to pack pjs for Chloe. Fail.

And all stores would be closed the next day. We rushed to the grocery store and bought her two pairs of pjs. 

When we got back, I realized I forgot mine too. Double fail. I wore Eric's pj pants to sleep in all weekend, which were way too big and not very comfortable. 

On our first full day there, Chloe decorated cookies and we just visited with my friends and their family. We went out for a lunch, then afterwards split up and Eric and I took Chloe to a park and the car wash. She enjoyed both. After that, we met up with people at a different park. Later on, we went for some frozen yogurt. We all loved it. 

Once we were home and Chloe was in bed, we watched The Heat. I loved it. 

The next day was zoo day! We got up and ready and went to the zoo. It was colder than expected, and Chloe didn't seem overly excited, but she didn't complain or whine. She loved the Easter egg hunt (see the top right picture below) and especially the Cheetos she got in her treat bag. 

Afterwards, my friend was amazing enough to watch Chloe so Eric and I could shop. Shopping wasn't very successful. I need jeans, but apparently I don't have a size. I'm between sizes. We ended up just buying hand sanitizer and train tracks at Toys R Us. 

That evening we had dinner at my friends parents' house. They are also like family to me so the company was great, and the food was amazing! So good. 

And that was our last night there. 

We woke up Sunday and Chloe found a trail of... well, see for yourself on our YouTube video outside the bedroom door. 

She loved the egg hunt, loved her Little People car, her beach ball from another friend who lives in the Dominican. She especially loved the chocolate chicken that had a chocolate egg inside filled with Smarties. She devoured those Smarties. We hung out until around noon before we hit the road to come home. 

About halfway home, when Eric was paying for gas, Chloe told me she was sad. I asked why, she said because she wanted her Daddy. Luckily, he was home so she spent about 3 hours with him that day. She had to take her beach ball with her to his house.  

Monday was back to work, for a 10 day stretch. Not looking forward to it, but at least two days are already down. 

Family, as of now.

Sometimes it amazes me how much things change, and how quickly. 

Although it seems like just yesterday that we took Madi into our home, it seems like just yesterday that she also moved out. I used to think of it as having two children. I thought that way for a bit even after she left. But we started seeing her less and less. I was no longer allowed to have her in my care alone since her mother deemed me 'unfit' out of no where. 

I still love her like family, but I no longer think of her as my daughter in the same way. She will always be Eric's daughter. At one point I would've assumed she would always be a sister to Chloe, but more and more it seems like the bond is one-sided. Chloe absolutely adores Madi and asks for her all the time. Madi, however, is quite indifferent to me and Chloe. I only see Madi for about an hour or less a week, but she spends every Thursday with Chloe all day, and still she runs past Chloe and asks for the tv immediately upon her arrival. To the point that it even hurts Chloe's feelings at time. 

What I once considered to be 'my family' is drifting apart more and more with each passing week. 

Even my own family is breaking apart a little. My mother spent a little over a weeek with us, sharing a room with Chloe, before she moved quite far away. Chloe got used to having her around, and asks for her and my nephew all the time. She doesn't understand yet that Grannie is far away. We probably won't see her again until my wedding, which is still a little over a year away. 

My mother and my brother are both living in the same spot, far away. My sister is an hour away, but we don't speak much. My grandfather is still in my hometown, about two hours away, but it's hard to get over to visit him very often. 

It's like I'm losing more and more family by the day. 

Luckily, I'll always have Chloe. At least until she's a teenager and decides to hate me. But for now she's my best friend, my favorite person to spend time with. 

And then there's Eric. Who used to take Chloe to daycare on the bus when I worked too early to do so. Who makes supper for us when he works late, because I hate cooking. Who puts up with my crazy mood swings. Who took care of me when I was sad that my mother was leaving. Who takes care of Chloe like she's his own. 

That's my family now. It's small. It makes me sad that we seem to have 'lost' everyone else, but I'm quite happy with the ones who are left. 

Silent Sunday: More Engagement and Family Photos

Vacation Long Weekend & Engagement Photos

[ Preview of our engagement/family photoshoot ]

This weekend was amazing. 

On Friday night, two of my best friends arrived, one of them with a 4 month old baby in tow that I was just getting to meet for the first time. Oh how I love babies. Friday night was a low-key night of chatting, eating Chinese food and hanging around home. We were all in bed before 11 o'clock. We're old folks now, folks. 

Saturday morning is when Eric and I left with the girls to get our pictures taken. Mom was awesome and met us at the photoshoot location to watch the girls when we took pictures of just us. I haven't seen all the pictures yet, but I love the preview ones. (I'll post more at the bottom) 

Mom took Chloe when the left the photoshoot, and we took Madi to be dropped off with Eric's Mom. 

Then we were childless. 

We had our dinner, bought some booze and headed home. Slowly, our friends all started to arrive. Drinks were poured, and the BBQ was fired up. BBQ'd burgers and potatoes are some of the best foods you can eat. 

Later on we even had some cake to celebrate "everything", aka my engagement, the birth of a baby 4 months ago, another friend's pregnancy (she's 26 weeks), the birthday that just passed of a friend. 

We had more drinks, played guitar outside on the deck, and played some cards. We were probably all in bed around midnight (old folks) but it was still an amazing night. 

We all had breakfast together Sunday, then got in our cars and went back to our hometown, where Eric and I met up with the girls again for a beach afternoon. When we were through with the beach, we went back to our (free) hotel room and went to the pool almost right away. Eric convinced me to go down the waterslide once (I'm not a big fan) and we went in the hot tub for a bit. 

We ordered some room service and watched Big Brother and ended up in bed at a decent time again. 

We had our breakfast in the morning then met up with Mom, our babies, and my nephew to go to a water park. The same one we took the nephew and Chloe to last year. Everyone had a blast. Madi is like a fish. She's not scared of the water at all, so I'm sure she drank half the pool. She was constantly losing her balance or just throwing herself in the water on purpose, and we'd have to pull her back up but she'd always be laughing. 

Chloe was obsessed with the waterslide, but she was only big enough for one of them. Mom helped me out by catching her at the bottom, and I'd run her back up to the top and send her down again. 

We were there for more than 5 hours. We had tons of snacks and and we were so thankful for the frozen water bottles Eric's Mom sent in a cooler with Madi. Apparently it was crazy hot yesterday, but we never felt it because of being in the water and shade constantly. 

Despite the sunscreen we all wore, Eric still got super burned. 

I could've stayed a lot longer, and the girls probably could've too but it was a long drive home. Madi slept most of the way, Chloe only slept for a little while. It was nice to get home. Today I'm back to work, and back to reality. But not for long, because I'm taking tomorrow off to spend it with friends again. 

Annnnd.. here's more engagement/family pictures. 

10 Things I Did This Week

1. I got the call, and have an appointment for counselling. 

2. My boss got Eric and I a free room at one of our resorts, then I luckily won a $15 credit towards the restaurant there. On top of that, my mother is keeping Chloe and his mother is keeping Madilynn Saturday and Sunday nights. We're in for an amazing weekend, I hope. 

3. We bought our BBQ earlier this week.

4. I seem to blog more about '10 Things I Did this Week' than anything else combined lately. Oops. 

5. I'm still pretty obsessed with Big Brother 15. 

6. My mother and nephew came over Monday and spent two nights at our house. I haven't seen my nephew (5 years old) since February. Too long. He and my sister live on the other end of the country right now. We had lunch together at my work on Tuesday. 

[ My first two loves. Have they changed much since last year? ]

7. Wednesday night the girls bugged to go outside, then they really wanted in their wagon and I really wanted candy so before we picked up Eric at work we took a wagon ride to the convenience store. I got them corn twists and they couldn't have been happier. 

8. Eric left work early because he wasn't feeling good. Instead, we both cleaned the house. 

9. Chloe tripped Monday morning and fell on her face. I didn't know the extent of her injuries until we got to daycare and I noticed she had a fat lip. Poor girl :(

10. We watched the second episode of the current Dexter season and I was so exhausted I missed most of it because I couldn't keep my eyes open. 

Introducing Madi

I think it's about time that I give you a formal introduction to the new little one in our family. You know so many little details about little Chloe, that I think it's Madi's turn.

For those who don't know, she's my boyfriend's daughter that recently moved in with us full-time. 

She turned 2 near the end of January. 

She has an older (half) brother who's 3.5 that lives with her mother. 

I would describe her lately as happy. She has very few tantrums and meltdowns, finally. She's usually content playing by herself or with Chloe, or just watching tv. She wakes up cranky for the first couple of minutes, but is pretty happy for the rest of the day, and usually goes to bed pretty easily. She's easy to get along with through meal time and bath time. She listens a lot better to me when I say no now. She doesn't seem to listen as well to her father, but she spends more time with me. 

In the past couple of months she's started speaking a ton. All kinds of things: Dora, Pikachu, outside, tv are just some of the random things. She can also put a few words together now like "Chloe outside". It's awesome seeing her learn so much. 

She used to be a super picky eater, but we've finally managed to get her eating everything on her plate, as long as it's something she likes. She used to just eat meat and ignore the veggies but now she'll eat all of it. She hates pasta and won't even try cheese though. 

She fits into mostly size 3 clothes. Some size 2 and some size 4. She's in size 6 or 7 shoes. 

She's changed so much in the past couple of months, and all for the better, it seems. She's happier and easier to get along with. I know all days won't be like this, but for now I'm enjoying it. 

Plus, it's kind of fun having two little girls to dress up.

Family Pictures

Once upon a time, I mentioned that we took some family photos with Eric's family. I don't have much to say today anyway, so here they are. 

The whole family: Eric, me, his brother's girlfriend, brother in the white hat, two sisters, sister's boyfriend, his mom up front, along with Chloe, Madi and the two other grandchildren of the family. 

Eric's mother and the grandchildren. I love that they treat Chloe like family too.

Easter and Stuff

I'm a little behind on blogging, as I just don't have much time or energy to do it from home. I try not to worry about it too much, because it's not like it's a job but I do like to have things documented in here, so I whipped up a quick '10 things I did this week' post right now and posted it to Sunday's date. Is that cheating?

We celebrated Easter this weekend. 

On Friday morning. 

Because the girls would be gone Sunday morning, and boyfriend worked early on Saturday morning. 

The girls got a bunch of clothes (boring), some beach toys, and we had a mini egg hunt with some plastic eggs. They played with those plastic eggs for most of the day after that. Carrying them around in their buckets or in their plastic pot. It was pretty cute. 

Saturday the kids went with their other parents, and I had the day alone to clean, like I usually do. When boyfriend got off work, we had some pizza and went to the movies to see The Call. Very good movie. Very 'on the edge of your seat'. 

Sunday we picked the girls up early and made a two hour trip to have supper with my mother and grandfather at my aunt and uncles. The driving was one of the worst trips ever - with Chloe crying most of the way there, some of the way back, and Madi crying for the last half hour or so of the way back. I don't want to do that again for a long time. 

But at least they had fun while we were there. And they got to wear pretty dresses. Pretty, super cheap dresses I got from a kids thrift store. 

Now it's Monday, I'm back at work for another week. Changes are coming this week. We'll talk about some of those later. 

When I'm missing you this much, I drive your truck

Every once in awhile you find a song that really hits home. I mean really.

The first time I heard this song, my brother actually sang some of it obnoxiously, asking if I'd ever heard the  song. I hadn't. It came on the radio a few days later, and I immediately recognized the song. I knew what it was about, and I knew it would make me cry. It wasn't until this past weekend that I actually got to listen to it. And as predicted, it made me cry. 

Watching the video and reading the comments may have made it worse. 

The song is about a man who drives his deceased brother's truck, to remember him and ease the pain. 

I relate to the song, and not because I know anyone close to me who's died and left something behind, but because I know someone who's a little bit older, and through circumstances out of his control, will have nothing left to leave behind by the time he goes. 

One of my favorite people in the world is my grandfather. He's my father figure, always will be. He had a stroke November 25, 2010. I don't like to post links from my previous blog, but this is the post I wrote a couple of days after the stroke.

Since then, an uncle of mine managed to get Power of Attorney, without any input from the rest of the family. My grandfather never had a Power of Attorney in his will, so we still don't understand how this has happened. 

For legal reasons, I will leave my personal opinion completely out of this, and only state what I know. 

My grandfather spent his first couple of months after the stroke in a seniors home, after which he moved in with his sister. He spent all of his free time doing work on his house, just down the street. I know with all my heart that he couldn't wait to move back to his home when it was ready, he just needed my uncle to help make the bathroom usable again.

My grandfather can communicate a little, but he can't understand a regular sentence without a lot of writing and explaining, and he can't speak it, unless reading. He is literally unable to speak for himself.

Almost immediately, both of my grandfather's vehicles have been sold, as well as his tractor, and wood has been sold from land he owns. 

A little under a year ago, this particular uncle's house burned down. I can still find the news article from March 2012, and I will quote it "The exact cause is undetermined due to the extent of damage." My uncle and his family now live in my grandfather's house, with no plans to rebuild after the fire.

My grandfather no longer has any intentions of moving back home. I know he's hurting over this. I see it in his eyes. I see it in his expressions when he makes me drive past the house and shakes his head sadly.

I don't know for sure what has happened to all of his possessions, most of which are antique furniture. I've been told that his furniture and possessions were sold or in storage. I've also heard from someone close to me that my grandfather took them to a junk yard where all his things were thrown out, and pictures were taken.

When my grandfather dies, other people will be living in his house, all his furniture and household items are gone, and all his vehicles have been sold. He has nothing but his clothing to leave behind.

I always took comfort in the fact that when he was gone, yes I'd be devastated, but his house would always be there as a comfort to me and my family. This house is my childhood home. I lived there for a year with my grandparents when I was 5. That house means the world to me. I always thought it would be there. I don't believe that anymore.

The ironic part of this story? Everything was willed to me.

So here is the song that breaks my heart, because when the most important person in my life goes, I'll have a ton of amazing memories but I'll never be able to 'drive his truck'. 

If you're a big cry baby like me, here are a few others that still make me cry almost every time:

Alyssa Lies - Jason Michael Carroll
Concrete Angel - Martina McBride
The Change - Garth Brooks
I'll Wait for You - Joe Nichols
I Loved her First - Heartland

Chloe's First Birthday Party

Chloe's first birthday party was Sunday. It was a great day.

A bunch of family and friends came over for food, cake and presents. We started the party at two, although most people arrived long before. The birthday girl put on her party dress and the fun started. 

She got a bunch of great presents: Some Megablocks, Elmo who plays the drums, finger painting set, a purse and accessories, a bowling set, a bunch of clothes, and a bunch of other things. She also got a blanket made out of her baby clothes from me. 

I took a million photos, so I'll share a few with you of the birthday girl. 

And a few of family and friends, including the actual birthday boy and girl in the middle, my brother and sister. 

Overall, a great day, and I was incredibly sad to see it and end have everyone leave. 

And today? It's baby girl's actual birthday. 

Fill in the Blank Friday

I'm doing something new - taking part in Fill in the Blank Friday, and I had a blast with it. 

1. Right now the weather where I live is:

Pretty amazing for September. Sunny, and warm. You could still have a beach day today (and tomorrow!) if you wanted. 

 2. The best piece of advice I've been given is:

Trust your mommy instincts. 

3. My most favorite person in all the world is:

If I eliminate the obvious (my daughter), I would pick my grandfather. He's spoiled me since the day I was born. I was the first granddaughter, but not only that - I was the first child of the only girl. I lived with my grandparents for a year when my mother gave birth to the twins. When I went away to college, he had a bit of savings for me to get started. When I was struggling, he always helped out. In November 2010 he had a stroke, which left him as a whole new person. He has a hard time communicating with speech, but can sometimes get his message across. He doesn't like a lot of the things he used to. He's completely different. The one thing that hasn't changed is that he still loves me more than ever, and has also passed that love along to Chloe. He's basically my father. 

 4. If I were to have a "mission statement" for my life, it would be:

Yolo. 

Hah, totally kidding. I could try to pull something awesome and inspirational out of my hat, but I'm not wearing one. So I pulled something out of my ass instead. Meaning, I hopped on Pinterest and found something that fits into my life right now.

[ via ]

 5. My most favorite item in my closet is:

My little black dress, that I only got to wear twice. I absolutely love it and can't wait for an opportunity to wear it again. 

 6. The best cure for a bad day is:

A happy baby. That might sound a little sappy or cliche, but it's true. No matter how upset I am, if Chloe smiles or laughs at me, I can't help but smile back, even if it's just a little. Coffee helps too. 

 7. Today is:

Friday. How can that ever be a bad thing?

Summer Fun for the Kiddos

Me and Chloe stayed with my mom from Tuesday morning until Thursday night. My nephew, B., who is four, stayed with us the entire time too. Because we could, we packed the trip with as much fun as we could. Tuesday night we took the kids to the park, Wednesday we took them to a water park and Thursday we took them to the beach. 

There's not a lot I could say about the week, except that it was fun for everyone. I'll just let the pictures do the talking. 

Have you done any fun summer activities lately?

A 75th Birthday Party

On Thursday my grandfather turned 75 years old. He's getting a little.. old.

We brought him to my mom's for a few nights (me and baby stayed too!) and celebrated his birthday and Father's Day both on Saturday. 

Getting to spend so much time with him, go on walks with him and take him shopping was all really nice. 

He had a stroke in November 2010, which left him fine physically, but mentally he can't really speak much and it's hard to get him to understand things we say. 

But it was fun to have an uncle and a few cousins join us, as well as my brother and his girlfriend. It's rare that the family really gets together. 

My uncle and my  babygirl, making a not-so-happy face

Grandfather and uncle

Brother with Charlie, the cat we love to hate

It was so nice to get back home and sleep in my own bed, but since Chloe had a crying fit from 10-11, and boyfriend came over, I got to sleep way too late and was still exhausted come Sunday.

So worth it to get to spend that little bit of time with boyfriend though. He told me he missed me, and I got to fall asleep in his arms which only happens when we're both super tired. When Chloe woke up around 3am, neither of us had moved. We lazed around a bit in the morning while the baby napped. He tried to tickle me. By the time he left, I was missing him already and he left me in a good mood for most of the day.