Chloe's First Time at an Amusement Park

I was considering doing it, but this morning I didn't put much thought into it - I just got us dressed, packed sweaters, raisins and a change of clothes and we left home just before 10am to go to a local amusement park. 

Being born and mostly raised in this area, I'd never been to it before. It's a bit pricey. But you know what's not that pricey? Bringing an almost 3 year old. I got her an all-access pass bracelet, and just bought me enough tickets to get on three rides with her. I was allowed to go on two of the kiddie rides with her for free anyway. I was just going to get us coupons to go on a few rides (25 coupons) but with the bracelet she went on 42 tickets worth of rides. Much better deal. 

She had a blast! 

She even went on the ferris wheel with me twice. She loved the carousel and nothing scared her at all. We were there for more than 4 hours and could've stayed longer if I wasn't getting a headache and getting tired myself. I'd say it was a huge success. She had some cranky moments but snapped out of them quickly. 

She was tired on the drive home, and wanted a nap but when I put her in her room for a nap she was quiet for a bit but ended up singing and never sleeping. 

I bet she'll sleep good for me tonight. I hope. 

Things are hard lately

Earlier this week. I bought a second-hand Diego plush toy. It matches the Dora one I bought for Chloe maybe about a year ago. She absolutely loves it, and plays with both of them all the time now. And of course her little Boots the Monkey too. Sometimes even her Pikachu doll plays too. I spent $5 on Diego, $2 on Dora because of the paint in her hair, and a few dollars on Boots on Ebay. Overall, the best $10ish dollars ever spent, because she's in love. I love seeing her so happy. 

Things haven't been too fun lately. Eric's job shut down. He found a new job a few days ago, but it's going to part-time for quite awhile, and by the time he starts the new job, he'll have had 3 weeks off with no pay. 

To add to that fun, his ex is fighting him in court soon for child support payments (which he already makes, but not sure how he'll afford with his loss of income), for 50% of his daughter's daycare, which he also couldn't afford with no job, or even with one. When she was in our care, the government helped us with the costs because we're low income. She doesn't qualify because her and her boyfriend make a lot more money than us. She's also fighting for a very strict visitation schedule. Madi will need to be picked up between 7:30-8:20am on the days he takes her, and she wants it to be the same days, always. He already committed to taking her all Thursdays a long time ago. We got a huge book in the mail yesterday from her lawyer, complete with texts and emails they've exchanged. He's obviously going into this court appointment with their intentions to make him look like the worst father in the world. There were even some blatant lies in the book. It's insanely stressful. In the document it states that he owe her 50% of all daycare costs since she stopped living with us in October. 

If she wins and he's ordered to pay the child support and daycare effective immediately, I don't know where they expect the money to come from. He's doing all he can to find a full-time job, and it's not his fault his former job shut down. We're terrified. 

It doesn't help that since becoming common-law, the government decided we need to pay back all money they've given to me since we started living together. You think they would've given me the heads up on that when I specifically called and asked when they needed to know about our marital status changed. They said when we became common-law, aka a year. I guess they just forgot to mention that they'd take away all money from me from the day we started living together. That was a nice bill to get in the mail, considering we had two children in our care for most of those months. 

To add to that, I've started waking up 2 out of the last 3 nights with a toothache. It's from a tooth that was pulled but they left a piece of it in long ago. I'm calling first thing Monday to see when I can get into the dentist. 

The stress just won't stop. 

As soon as I manage to push one thing out of my mind, we get a new letter in the mail either from a lawyer or the government to kick us in the ass again. 

We're pretty sure that with all the money everyone thinks we owe them, our wedding may not happen anytime soon. So we'll be out even more money in the deposits we made, but we shall see. The officiant is already paid in full, and I already have the dress so maybe it'll happen. 

I'm tired of stressing. Usually I just try not to think about any of it.

The toothache is the hardest to ignore. 

Family, as of now.

Sometimes it amazes me how much things change, and how quickly. 

Although it seems like just yesterday that we took Madi into our home, it seems like just yesterday that she also moved out. I used to think of it as having two children. I thought that way for a bit even after she left. But we started seeing her less and less. I was no longer allowed to have her in my care alone since her mother deemed me 'unfit' out of no where. 

I still love her like family, but I no longer think of her as my daughter in the same way. She will always be Eric's daughter. At one point I would've assumed she would always be a sister to Chloe, but more and more it seems like the bond is one-sided. Chloe absolutely adores Madi and asks for her all the time. Madi, however, is quite indifferent to me and Chloe. I only see Madi for about an hour or less a week, but she spends every Thursday with Chloe all day, and still she runs past Chloe and asks for the tv immediately upon her arrival. To the point that it even hurts Chloe's feelings at time. 

What I once considered to be 'my family' is drifting apart more and more with each passing week. 

Even my own family is breaking apart a little. My mother spent a little over a weeek with us, sharing a room with Chloe, before she moved quite far away. Chloe got used to having her around, and asks for her and my nephew all the time. She doesn't understand yet that Grannie is far away. We probably won't see her again until my wedding, which is still a little over a year away. 

My mother and my brother are both living in the same spot, far away. My sister is an hour away, but we don't speak much. My grandfather is still in my hometown, about two hours away, but it's hard to get over to visit him very often. 

It's like I'm losing more and more family by the day. 

Luckily, I'll always have Chloe. At least until she's a teenager and decides to hate me. But for now she's my best friend, my favorite person to spend time with. 

And then there's Eric. Who used to take Chloe to daycare on the bus when I worked too early to do so. Who makes supper for us when he works late, because I hate cooking. Who puts up with my crazy mood swings. Who took care of me when I was sad that my mother was leaving. Who takes care of Chloe like she's his own. 

That's my family now. It's small. It makes me sad that we seem to have 'lost' everyone else, but I'm quite happy with the ones who are left. 

Changes

I haven't died.

There's just too much going through my head to be able to write anything down.

My current job ends one month from yesterday. I just gave notice to the daycare that the girls won't be there any longer.

We've discussed moving closer to family. As much hassle as it might be, I think that might be better for us. As long as I can find a job. The rent is cheaper there, and it's a smaller town so it might be easier on us having just one car. Plus, have I mentioned that family would be closer to help out?

Things are so crazy right now.

We've been sick

[ via ]

Things have been a little off lately. 

First there was the tragedy from the weekend. 

On Monday we went to look at a potential wedding venue. One that we really would like to go with, but we still aren't sure we can afford it. We got home late, and the girls only got to bed around 9:30 pm. 

Tuesday Eric was sick, and I wasn't feeling so great either. I ended up coming home early and we both napped until it was time to get the girls at daycare. Seems like a bug was just passing through our entire household, since the girls were a little 'off' for a few days before us as well. I'm hoping this is the end of it all. 

We put the girls to bed early at 7pm, since Chloe was falling asleep on the way home from daycare, and she never sleep in the car. Even after our naps in the afternoon, Eric and I were both asleep before 9pm, and didn't get up unil 7am, except for once through the night. 

Eric put all of our bed sheets in the wash, and I wiped down many surfaces, handles, and remotes with Lysol wipes. I want my family back to normal again. 

On the plus side, I managed to avoid having a full-on panic attack over the fact that Eric was sick. I thought for sure I was going to have one but I managed not to. I hope that's something that I can get better at, and avoid panic attacks altogether. I hope I hope. In any case, I still haven't been able to eat much of anything all week. I think it might soon be time for a trip to the doctor regardless of panic attacks. Something's still not right with me. 

Parenting in Blended Families is HARD

Let's get honest here for awhile. 

Sometimes this really isn't what I want. Two kids. 

I want 2-3 kids, I think I always have. But upon having Chloe, I wanted my first child to be my only kid for awhile. I wanted to spoil her, and teach her, and let her have all of my attention. 

I never would've imagine that at 18 months my only daughter would get an older sister. That I would get an older child. A child already shaped and molded by somebody else. A child with someone else's eyes and hair. Another child so different from me and my child. 

A child I would have to raise, with no previous mother to child bond. 

It's not what I wanted, or ever expected. 

I never expected to watch someone else parent my child. Someone so different from me. I never thought of how different it is to parent someone else's child, along with your own. Sometimes you find yourself wanting to be more strict with your own child, or maybe you find it easier to be strict with the other child. It's hard to find balance, especially with two kids so close in age, but also so far apart. 

You can't expect the same things from a 20 month old that you do of a 28 month old, but it's hard to know where to draw the line. 

There have been many, many days that I've wanted to give up. Some days I want to give up on the child, other times the relationship with her father. Never both. Something always makes me want to keep going, and I hope it always does. 

I spoke to someone just last night who knows a lot about our situation, and a lot about children of this age. 

She explained to me that though a lot of it might be hard, just think of how hard it was before. We're getting there. Things are getting easier. We've already laid the foundation for building 'security' with Madi. Stability. It might get harder, but it will also get easier. 

That's comforting. 

The hardest part is me. 

I can't stop comparing the girls. I can't make myself feel for Madi what I do for Chloe. I'm sure with time it will come. 

And our parenting styles. We are so different when it comes to parenting and that affects both our relationship and our relationships with both girls. I like control and consistency, while he likes to go with the flow and doesn't think about the consequences with most things he does. 

I am firm. If I threaten a time out, you'll get the time-out if you don't change the behavior. He threatens time out a lot more, and doesn't always follow through. When he disciplines his daughter, she laughs at him. This could be because when he should be disciplining her, he instead distracts her by playing with her. So now when he says no, she just remembers all the other times he says 'no', then throws her up in the air and makes her laugh. She associates doing something wrong with playing. When he tells her to go to him, she either throws a fit or runs away from him laughing. She doesn't do that with me. If she doesn't do what I want, like stay at the table until I wash her hands, I make her and she knows it's not a laughing matter. When I say no to something, there is minimal whining and crying between me and Madilynn. It is the opposite between her and her father. 

And he's the opposite with Chloe. He has no problem being firm with her. 

I know he knows there's a difference between what Madi is like with me, and what she's like with him around, but it's impossible for him to actually witness it. 

It makes things difficult all around for everyone. 

We had a quick, slight argument over it this morning. It's a hard thing to discuss and work out. 

It's not always right and wrong when it comes to parenting, so it makes it harder. 

(But if I had to choose I'd say he's wrong and I'm right!)

A Weekend and a Phobia Realization

The weekend was kind of a busy one. I got to spend Saturday alone with Chloe. It was the first time in a very long time. In the morning, we bought some toys off someone - a Dora the Explorer backpack and accessories, and a vacuum. The kids are a huge fan of the new toys. 

In the evening, a friend came over and we had homemade lasagna with salad and garlic bread. It was good, but I still haven't perfected my lasagna. This time it was too dry. Again.

On Sunday, I spent most of the day with my girl again, but then went to work an evening shift at my old job. Front desk at a hotel. It was a busy night, but nice to work with people and speak to adults. Eric is one of the only adults I talk to most of the time. Some outside interaction was nice. 

We had a family day on Monday, and took the girls to visit Eric's family. Upon his mother's request, we got family pictures done. Each family individually, each couple, then everyone together. I can't wait to see them. Then we had a BBQ, which was amazing, and by then it was getting later so we went on our way. The kids missed naps so they slept the whole way home. 

Sunday night I finally finished 50 Shades of Grey (a review on that tomorrow!) and sat around being lazy with Eric. The usual. 

On a more serious note, I did some research and asked around about my intense throwing up phobia. I've always had this fear but its gotten way out of hand these past couple of months. Everything I've read and heart, points at stress being a big factor in why the symptoms have gotten crazy. I did the math, and it seems I got a little crazier around the time we moved Madi in. Just that realization alone has helped me calm down a little, to the point where all day yesterday I was able to eat without the phobia crossing my mind once. That's a start. I considering talking to my doctor about actually getting help, but I don't know if I want to go that far yet. At the same time, it might be the only step towards getting people to understand how much stress I'm actually under. 

In the meantime, I'm already expected to 'babysit' Madi for her mother in about two weeks time, giving up yet another weekend alone with Chloe. She expects us to babysit, because she kept Madi for us (and Chloe for one night too) when we moved. Under normal circumstances I would feel like we do owe her this weekend of keeping Madi. On the other hand, I kept Madi for three weekends for her because she refused to take her and, in her words, didn't care how it affected us. 

I had no idea how much it was really affecting us. 

Still, I will look like the bad guy when I say no. 

A Moment in My Day

Thursday, May 9 - A Moment in My Day

I'm picking a moment from yesterday, because we all know I won't blog if I leave it until I get a picture tonight. And no one wants to hear about the moments I spend at work.

Yesterday was a gorgeous day. The kids were sweaty and sandy when I picked them up from daycare. I couldn't wait to get them fed so I could put them in fresh, pretty summer clothes. That's what we did, and then we got in to the car to pick Eric up from work, with the girls dancing in their car seats as usual. 

Fast forward to when the girls are fast asleep, and Eric and I get to be nerds, working on more bead projects. 

Yesterday was a good day. 

The truth: Some people don't deserve their own children

Life comes at you in the craziest ways. 

Really. 

Somehow I always figured I would end up a single mom at some point. I never ever would've guessed that it would only last about 4 months. I'm sure you know the story: I met a boy. Life was forever changed, blah blah blah. 

Except it's not so 'blah'. 

Being a mom myself, I never imagined he would have full custody of his daughter. "Why would a mother ever want to give up her daughter?" I thought. I always knew Madi would be a part of our lives. A big part. I had no idea how big. 

It turns out a mother can easily want to give up her daughter. Quite the opposite. A mother can fight not to have her daughter. I cannot wrap my head around this at all, since I would kill someone before I let them take my daughter away. But fight to get rid of her? 

First it was a weekend arrangement - she would spend the weekends with her mother. That was her mother's request. From the first weekend she's tried to fight it. 

I'm not sure the real reasons on this. I know the reasons she tells us, but since the stories and circumstances change from week to week, I don't know the real reason. All I know is this weekend her mother refused to open the door and let her own child into her home. "For the good of both her children", she says. 

I've already said more than I meant to, but I'm not taking it back. I don't respect this person in the slightest, but I will respect what privacy she has left, and leave it at that. 

Eric and I have argued more times than I can count. We've talked, we've discussed. But ultimately, we have no control. We can't make this mother want to see her child, and we can't keep her away from her. We get to go along with whatever she requests, at least until legal papers are signed. 

We want this little girl in a stable, loving environment. She is not an option to us. We're tired of changing our schedule from week to week to suit her mother's requests. We want a stable arrangement. We're tired of Madi being shoo-ed out the door at her mother's house because 'it's better for Madi'. 

We've been under so much stress and I'm tired of not talking about it. What is there to hide? 

She's our daughter now. We're going to fight for her. She doesn't deserve to be treated as an option. I hope her mother comes to regret this for the rest of her life. 

I never would've guessed that this is where we would be, after less than two years of dating. It's really crazy when you think about it. I'm not giving up. Ever. 

But it is still so hard sometimes. 

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

I've never known how to answer that question. There has never been a clear answer. There's the 'where I want' to be answer, and then where I actually feel like I'll be. And then there's what really happens. And while it might sound insanely negative, there are no happily ever afters. There's just reality. Whether or not it's your happily ever after is really your choice, or your option to change. 

Let's look at how '5 years later' really ends up. 

My answer when I was in high school

I see myself either in college, or just graduating college. Looking for a job related to my education. Doing everything I can to make a better future for myself. I'm going to save money, and not end up living like my mother did - low income, living from paycheck to paycheck. 

The reality:

Five years later, I graduated from college. I was certified to be a legal secretary, but I doubted my education. I didn't feel in any way prepared. I worked at Wendy's. I lived in another province, and chose to move back home. I couldn't find any kind of full-time job, and struggled to get by with the help of my grandfather as I lived with a roommate. 

My answer when I was in college: 

I'd like to say my answer was optimistic - that I was going to find a great job and go on to do great things, but I was terrified. I didn't see everything as working out. I wanted to find an amazing job and live a great life. I was starting to feel like I was just a mess. No guy would ever truly like me. What a sob-fest. 

The reality:

Five years later, I was single after a long relationship, and that was my choice. I didn't have an amazing job, but I had a full-time job that I loved. It was about this time that I moved into an apartment by myself (kind of), and was finally financially stable for the first time in my life. The most unexpected part? I had a little girl, and not long after that, I met an amazing guy. Funny how things work out. 

My answer now:

I don't know where I'll be when it comes to my career, but I hope when this job finishes, there's another great job waiting for me. The girls will be 6 and 7. In school. And they had better be doing fantastic. I'll be with the same guy, married or about to be. We may have another child, or it might be in the planning stages. A boy, I'm hoping. And we'll all be rich and successful. And we'll all live happily ever after. I really hope. 

Where do you see yourself in five years?

Parenting in Blended Families: My House, My Rules?

I've been a 'single mother', for about as long as... I've been a mother, actually. I knew I'd date, and at some point maybe even date someone with children of his own. A year ago, I did not see myself in a serious relationship at this point in my life, with a step-child added to the mix, but that's my life. 

Let's pretend this is a play, and I'll lay out all the details for you. 

The Cast:

Controlling mother (me)

Laid-back father (boyfriend)

16 month old only child (Chloe)

2 year old child with a different sibling at each home (Madi)

The Summary:

Madi has a full-time brother (3 years) at home, recently diagnosed with autism. She learns a lot of her behavior from him - like the hitting, extreme fighting over toys, and tantrums. All kids do it, although her tantrums are unlike anything I've ever seen (personally) in any other children. 

Chloe is in turn learning to hit, bite, and fight back, both in general self-defense, but sometimes just to be mean. 

But parenting babies is quite simple, when you think about it. When they hit and bully, they get disciplined. Whether that be through time out, or depending on the severity of the act, just a general eye-level 'no'. 

The Sequel:

Fast forward a couple of years, and we will have children, not just babies. They will be doing worse things than just hitting each other. There will by lying and sneaking, and I don't even want to think about what else. 

How do you know how to parent when you have one full-time child in the house, and one part-time child?

Do you follow the rule of 'my house, my rules', and make your own rules for both children to follow? Do you discuss rules with the other two parents so the rules are consistent? 

Do you follow the rule of 'my child, my rules'? Which sounds like a decent option if the children in question were older and already knew what their rules were before the parents pushed them together? 

Do you have a good cop/bad cop situation? 

The thing is, there's no real answer, is there? We are two single parents with a child each, with completely opposite parenting personalities. Boyfriend is laid-back, and happy as long as everyone else is happy. He's not as concerned with the consequences of our actions. He gives in to a tantrum to end it, not thinking that giving in to them is what's causing them to happen more often. 

I'm not sure if I'm a strict mother, but I recently realized that I'm a bit of a control freak. I want the girls to know what the rules are. Whether they follow them or not, I want them to at least know what's right and wrong, and what they will be punished for. 

We both have to work on our parenting personalities. Boyfriend needs to be a little more in control, instead of letting the little ones control him. I have to learn to stop being so controlling, and let things slide every now and then. 

As long as we're on the same page, this parenting a blended family thing won't be too hard, right? 

If you're part of a blended family, share your story, and what works for you!

Christmas Day

Our Christmas was super busy. 

We started off the morning at our place with the girls. Boyfriend woke up first, way too early, and went downstairs for awhile, before coming back to bed. I drifted in and out of sleep a lot until about 8. We got up, got breakfast ready then actually woke up the girls. 

The one time they sleep in! And it has to be Christmas. Silly girls. 

We were like the children this time around, too excited to sleep. 

The girls had some pancakes (Chloe) and raisin toast (Madi) then we moved on to presents. 

Top left: Stockings
Top right: Madi and her toast
Bottom left: Chloe smiling
Bottom middle/right: Nephew playing with the chainsaw set I got him (Christmas night)

We rushed out to Mom's after presents, and opened more presents. Then we rushed to boyfriend's Mom's place, and opened more presents and had turkey dinner.

Then we rushed to Mom's boyfriend's parent's place, and had turkey supper.

Then boyfriend went home, I stayed at Mom's for the night.

Then I rushed away to visit an old friend for an hour, then to pick up my grandfather, then more presents and another turkey dinner.

Yeah, it was nuts, and rushed.

It was so nice to get back home on Boxing day night.

Oxymoron, much?

Wanna know what we got? Here's just a few things.

Me: 
Gift certificate for massage
The book Bro Code for Parents: What to Expect When You're Awesome
Craft room storage
Picture frame
$$$
Chocolates
Gift cards for groceries and Wal-Mart

Chloe (And Madi)
Singing frog bath toy
Mickey Mouse couch
Kitchen set
Cash register
Sleeping bag
Ooodles of clothing

What did you get for Christmas?

I am so grateful for my daughter

I don't want to dwell too much on the Sandy Hook tragedy in here. It's already on my mind a lot, and breaks my heart. It was a nice relief to pick up my baby girl Friday afternoon and get to spend an amazing weekend with her. I can't imagine being one of the families that no longer gets that luxury. Yeah, it's a luxury. 

I think Chloe was trying to drive that point home, because she was being so damn cute all weekend. 

She's pretty much a full-time walker now, and I love just watching her go. 

I don't, however, love watching her climb on the coffee table and make a beeline for the stairs every chance she gets. 

She gives me cuddles and hugs and kisses now. Big, wide open mouthed kisses, where you're not sure if she's going to kiss you or bite half your face. Although she makes up for some of the cuteness by hitting in the face a lot. You win some, you lose some. 

She has also started doing one of the funniest things. She'll make a surprised face, and even do a quick inhale, as if someone just jumped out and startled her. She does it a lot. 

Here's a blurry example:

Last night we were playing in her room, and she made the face a few times. Then she glanced across the hallway and saw the nightlight on in Madi's room. She made the face, made the noise with a little exaggeration, and acted like she saw a ghost. 

Boyfriend and I were laughing so hard that I was crying, but she kept doing it. He managed to get a bit of it on video. I think it's my favorite video of Chloe ever made. 

And one last favorite part of the weekend? When I went to check on her before I went to bed, I accidentally woke her up and she started crying so I took her to my room for a little while. She lay down with her head on my shoulder for 15 minutes until I put her back to bed. Occasionally she would look up and smile a little. 

It was one of my favorite moments. 

Oh how I love this little girl. She's the funniest, cutest person I know. She's my best buddy. 

Life is good.

My little family, not so photogenic.

I am in an amazing mood today, and I'm not sure I can pinpoint exactly why. It's more a collection of little things. 

This morning Chloe woke up super early. I was tired, but it allowed room for some cuddle and play time. Around the time our alarm should've gone off, I dragged her upstairs to bug boyfriend, who was also tired but entertained us and got up without a complaint. Things have been so great with him lately. 

Getting to spend a little time with my two favorite people in the morning sure set the tone for the day. 

My half coffee, half hot chocolate (new addiction) topped up the happiness, and from there, there is just so much to be excited about that I can't help but be in a great mood. 

Christmas is coming. The shopping is basically done, we have most of our Christmas plans made up, and I get 2.5 days off to spend with my family. Boyfriend only gets Christmas day off, but that's better than nothing. 

Christmas week will be crazy. We are adopting boyfriend's daughter for a week - the Friday before Christmas until the Friday after, because her mother is going away. We'd rather have her for a week than not see her at all on Christmas. 

She will mainly be my responsibility, since boyfriend will be working and I'll be in charge of the daycare drop offs and pickups, as well as supper and bedtime some nights. It'll be a challenge but I'm mostly looking forward to it . 

I will also be taking her alone to spend Boxing Day with my grandfather and family while boyfriend works. Wish me luck as I spend a week being a mother of two girls under two. 

Life is pretty sweet. 

Our Daily Schedule, These Days

I was reading a post today on people's everyday schedule's over at Shannon's blog. She finds them interesting to read, and I couldn't agree more. It's kind of fun to see how other people do it, so I'm going to do the same. This is how a typical weekday goes in our household. 

7:10am - Alarm goes off. I drag myself out of bed and get dressed. 

7:15am - Wake Chloe up if she didn't wake me up first, get her out of that overnight diaper and drag her downstairs for her breakfast. While she eats, I pack my lunch, get her daycare bag ready and gather anything else we need for the day. Sometimes I eat breakfast, but these days that's rare. 

7:40am - (She's a slow eater) I get Chloe out of her high chair and change her into her daycare clothes. If she's quick eating and dressing, we get to take our time and play on the floor for 10 minutes or so. Boyfriend usually drags his butt downstairs around this time. 

7:50am - Get our stuff and ourselves packed into the car

8:00-8:10am - Drop Chloe off at daycare. 

8:25-4:30pm - Arrive at work, punch in, update my voicemail, check my email, answer phone calls, etc. Eat randomly throughout the day at my desk. Continue with this all day. 

4:30pm - Leave work and either run a quick errand or go right to daycare to pick Chloe up. 

5-5:30pm - Arrive home with one cranky, hungry Chloe. Immediately strap her in the highchair and give her food as fast as I can. 

6:00pm - Bathtime

6:15-7:15pm - Mommy and Chloe time

7:15-7:30pm - Bedtime, and depending on boyfriend's schedule, potential supper time for me and him. 

7:30pm - OMG relax time. 

9:30-11pm - Bedtime somewhere in here. And we're lucky to usually sleep right through the night until 7am. 

Good times. 

The presents are wrapped under the tree

This is our tree.

Ain't she pretttttttty? 

No? I don't think so either. Although the picture gives it more credit than it deserves. It's got some huge gaps that no 'fluffing' could fix, ornaments that are plastic (toddler-friendly) and boring, and not much else. I want a better tree for next year. 

Boyfriend and I almost finished our Christmas shopping yesterday, and that is the results. There are even presents in the far corner behind the tree. We have a ton of presents. A lot for the girls, some for me and him, and some for my family. 

Last night we wrapped presents and listened to random music from the 90s and early 2000s. And Gangnam Style. And eventually went to a friend's place and played Monopoly. I won. It was a great time. 

A few nights ago he told me he couldn't believe we've been together for almost a year already. And how happy he was with me. It kind of made me melt. 

Saturday was his family's Christmas get-together. It was an evening thing, so even though we were definitely going, I was a little scared about how the girls would take it. The party started at 6, and bedtime is at 7. 

Well, around 9:30pm Chloe was holding onto a chair dancing and Lil M was still running wild. Boyfriend's niece and cousins all loved the girls and were great babysitters to let us eat and play a couple of games. Overall, a good time with some nice people. His mother even took a photo of her and her grandkids in front of the Christmas tree and got Chloe to get in the picture. 

We took a 'family' picture of our own, which of course has a million flaws, but the important part is, I look good. 

That's always the important part. 

But I can't share the photo today because I'm at work and the photo is not. 

So, tell me about your weekend.

Family Fun Time

On Saturday boyfriend and I both had the day off with our girls, so we took advantage and did something we'd been talking about doing for a long time. We took them to a big indoor play place that just opened in town. 

For less than $5 for each of the girls, they played happily for two hours, and could've stayed longer if it wasn't time to go home and eat. 

I had never seen Chloe so excited and happy. Her favorite part was the slide, so I'm definitely going to look into getting her one of those second hand. 

The rest of the weekend was spent with two little girls doing a lot of fighting, followed by a day of packing and cleaning the apartment, just boyfriend and I. Which was more fun than it sounds.

Anyhow, here's some iPhone photos of our playing adventure. 

Chloe loved this rocking toy

"Ahhh"

Lil M on the slide

"Yay, balls"

So much love for this slide

I linked this post up with Moments that Define Life and Momof6.

Silent Sunday: Family Picture?

My baby makes silly faces.

It Feels Like Family

Somehow, growing up I always knew I'd end up being a single mother. I was always so shy and awkward, I just never saw things working out for me traditionally. Maybe it was me being pessimistic, or maybe it was me being realistic. There are a lot of single mothers out there. But unlike me, most of them don't start out immediately as single mothers. 

What I didn't see coming, was how quick and easy it would be to meet someone, and form a little family of our own. 

I love watching our girls play together and bond. I love watching them laugh and occasionally hug and kiss. I love watching them splash in the bath and play peek-a-boo under the high chair. 

I love having someone to give the girls a bath so I can clean up the supper mess. I love doing the dishes together while talking about anything. 

I love having a guy who poses for stupid pictures for me. I love that money is never a fight. I love that there never really is a fight, just a discussion. I love making plans and talking about future holidays and birthdays together. 

I love that the laundry piles grow three times as fast and the sinks are never free of dishes. I love that toys and sippy cups are always everywhere. Even though some mornings are too early and some nights too rough, it feels like family. I like the feeling. 

The Last Weekend of 'Summer'

The weekend was a fairly quiet one. Friday night I babysat my cousin's one-month old son overnight. It's been awhile (um, more than 10 months) since I've taken care of a newborn, but as far as newborn babies go, he was easy. He woke up three times between when I went to bed, and when I got up for the day, but he ate quick and went back to bed easily each time. I can't believe I had a newborn and 11 month old in my care overnight and somehow woke up feeling rested. 

My 2nd cousin, Christopher

Saturday was a special day. It was one of the few times that boyfriend and I both had no children for the day AND night. We used the time to go for a long, scenic drive and eventually ended up at his sister's place. We'd been planning on spending the night and having a few drinks, but I started feeling a little sick. Fever kind of sick. 

We tried to wait it out a bit, but in the end we drove the hour back home. By the time we went to bed I was feeling okay, and felt fine in the morning. I'm glad I wasn't sicker, but I wish it wouldn't have ruined our night out. Although I can't complain about lazing around in bed together watching stuff like America's Funniest Home Videos and getting a massage. Nope, can't complain at all. 

We got both our girls back on Sunday and took them downtown for a walk. They both seemed to enjoy it. The rest of the day seemed to speed by, and all of a sudden supper was done, boyfriend gave the girls a bath and I cleaned up. It felt so... family. 

It's a little sad that the summer is winding down, and in about a month free time together will be rare. That's what makes weekends like these so special. 

Upon glancing at this post once again it hit me that I should try to get in a photo myself every now and then. 

Tell me about your weekend.