Me, lately

I still exist! 

Monday and Tuesday somehow flew by. I guess you could say most of Wednesday did too. 

What has happened lately? 

Saturday we had an indoor yard sale, Chloe, Eric and I. We made a nice chunk of money and had fun. Eric was super happy that we sold some of his bead sprites. Afterwards we went to a big indoor garage sale in town and spent some of our hard-earned money. Eric got a video game and I got a hat for Chloe and a shelf for Madi's room. Later, I spent my money on a cube shelf for Chloe's room, and we got new fall jackets for both of the girls. 

On Sunday, Madi stayed with me and we went to my Mom's for the day. Chloe too, of course. It was a little too cold for the pool, but they still had a lot of fun playing outside with the dogs. They took an amazing nap and I was able to clean my entire car. I vacuumed up all the sand. It was so nice. Within a day of being back to daycare, the car is full of sand again. The joys of toddlers. 

Me? I've been feeling better. I've been trying not to dwell on negative thoughts. 

Eric finally put his foot down with Madi's mother and we're no longer driving back and forth to her place 4 times a weekend to drop off and pick up Madi on Saturdays and Sundays because she won't allow Madi to spend the night. It's a little too much. Especially since Madi fell asleep there Saturday before we got there to pick her up, and waking her up caused a freak out like I'd never seen before. So that's why Madi stayed with me Sunday. It's more work to keep her, but less stressful. Somewhere along the way, she decided she wanted Madi back with her full-time, so we're entering back into that battle. Saturday night Madi can't sleep at her mom's, Monday morning her mom wants her to live with her. Make sense? Not really. 

But I'm not stressing about it. Like I said, I've been feeling better. 

A Weekend and a Phobia Realization

The weekend was kind of a busy one. I got to spend Saturday alone with Chloe. It was the first time in a very long time. In the morning, we bought some toys off someone - a Dora the Explorer backpack and accessories, and a vacuum. The kids are a huge fan of the new toys. 

In the evening, a friend came over and we had homemade lasagna with salad and garlic bread. It was good, but I still haven't perfected my lasagna. This time it was too dry. Again.

On Sunday, I spent most of the day with my girl again, but then went to work an evening shift at my old job. Front desk at a hotel. It was a busy night, but nice to work with people and speak to adults. Eric is one of the only adults I talk to most of the time. Some outside interaction was nice. 

We had a family day on Monday, and took the girls to visit Eric's family. Upon his mother's request, we got family pictures done. Each family individually, each couple, then everyone together. I can't wait to see them. Then we had a BBQ, which was amazing, and by then it was getting later so we went on our way. The kids missed naps so they slept the whole way home. 

Sunday night I finally finished 50 Shades of Grey (a review on that tomorrow!) and sat around being lazy with Eric. The usual. 

On a more serious note, I did some research and asked around about my intense throwing up phobia. I've always had this fear but its gotten way out of hand these past couple of months. Everything I've read and heart, points at stress being a big factor in why the symptoms have gotten crazy. I did the math, and it seems I got a little crazier around the time we moved Madi in. Just that realization alone has helped me calm down a little, to the point where all day yesterday I was able to eat without the phobia crossing my mind once. That's a start. I considering talking to my doctor about actually getting help, but I don't know if I want to go that far yet. At the same time, it might be the only step towards getting people to understand how much stress I'm actually under. 

In the meantime, I'm already expected to 'babysit' Madi for her mother in about two weeks time, giving up yet another weekend alone with Chloe. She expects us to babysit, because she kept Madi for us (and Chloe for one night too) when we moved. Under normal circumstances I would feel like we do owe her this weekend of keeping Madi. On the other hand, I kept Madi for three weekends for her because she refused to take her and, in her words, didn't care how it affected us. 

I had no idea how much it was really affecting us. 

Still, I will look like the bad guy when I say no. 

Currently, I am...

The weekend was okay. I got to spend one day with Chloe, and one day with the whole family. Eric took a personal day off from work Sunday when we got a 7am wakeup call from Madi's mother saying she wanted her to go home. 

After Chloe's super long nap, it was almost supper time but we tried to go to the park anyway. It was too cold so we ended up hanging out home until bedtime. Not unlike a typical night with us. 

I am not in a great mood today, so rather than writing a post about that, I'm going to do one of those "I'm Currently" posts.

Thinking: I wish I had more control over my own life. 

Drinking: Half coffee, half hot chocolate. I wish it was also 1/4 vodka. 

Loving: Buy and sell groups. My wallet, however, doesn't. 

Hating: That me and Chloe both seem to have a cold interfering with our sleep and happiness. 

Stressing Over: The upcoming weekend. 

Listening To: Office sounds. 

Excited About: Not. Much. 

Thankful For: Boyfriend. Eric. He just sent me a message that made me laugh. I didn't think that was possible today. 

Eating: About to eat pasta salad. 

What are you currently doing?

The Weekend: Boyfriend's Birthday and a New Dog

I need a new blog design. I am so bored with the one I have now. I have the newest Windows on my computer at home, so I hate it and almost never use it, and I don't have photoshop at work. I just don't have it in me to play with my design myself like I've done in the past. 

Sadly, I just can't dish out the money right now for something as unimportant as my blog design when half of our household needs new shoes before the spring weather hits. Sadly shoes are priority. But I think if I had a new blog design I'd be a lot more interested in blogging. I just hate looking at my blog these days. 

The weekend flew by. As always. Saturday was boyfriend's 25th birthday. It was nothing too special since he convinced me to give him his birthday present about a month ago when I first bought it. The beads we play with so often. 

My mother got a dog this weekend. Chloe is a pretty big fan. She's also a little rough with him. It's just a little thing - a Shih-Poo, I guess it's called. We didn't know what to name him, but the first name Mom jokingly suggested seems to have stuck - Winston. It's fitting. 

I finally put together the wagon I bought for the girls for Easter. I pulled them in it in the house a couple of times and they were in giggling fits. I guess they love it. Even my brother thought it would be fun to hop in. 

Mondays are my least favorite part of the week. And it's not even for the same reason as everyone else. Yeah, the weekend is over and a long week is stretching ahead, but mostly it's because I take the backseat to wrestling on Monday nights. Yeah, wrestling. Ew. I'd try to give it a chance, I really would, but any little bit I've ever seen has always been so dumb that I'd rather watch Chloe's tv shows. They seem more mature. 

So by 9:30 pm tonight, I'll be laying in my bed watching the first episode of season 6 of Boy Meets World. What about you?

Happy Monday!

Party Weekend

Another weekend has passed. 

This one wasn't my usual kid and cleaning filled weekend. I still did both of those things, but Saturday night boyfriend and I had some drinks with friends. I think it was boyfriend and I. I didn't see him a whole lot all night. 

Early on in the night it crossed my mind that I never take pictures at parties anymore. So I quickly snapped a bunch of random phone pictures. It would be weird if I shared the ones of random strangers, but here's boyfriend and I. 

We were home by two, and up with Chloe around 8. I sat Chloe in her chair to eat breakfast and went upstairs for a minute. While upstairs I just wanted to lay down for a minute. And so I napped for about an hour while boyfriend watched Chloe, unasked. Oops. 

When I was awake, boyfriend woke his friend up and Mom watched Chloe so we could eat. When we got home, I napped with Chloe again. I think I could've napped all day. 

Boyfriend left me alone with the kids Sunday night to watch wrestling with his friends, a huge yearly thing. As luck would have it, Chloe didn't want to go to bed, and woke up twice more through the night. Madi was only up once. But after all that napping, I'm still tired today. 

Happy Monday. 

Weekend Fun and a Great Recipe

The weekend was a pretty good one. I pretty much finished my Easter/summer shopping for the girls when Toys R Us had an amazing sale - both things I was considering getting were 50% off, so I bought both. I don't think the wagon is the exact same one, but closest I could find online. 

I can't wait until summer to play with the new toys. 

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I also went to visit my mother and her new puppy. My brother and his girlfriend even stopped by. It was like a family reunion. We looked at a discount furniture store and I ended up ordering and paying off more than half of a bedroom set: headboard, footboard, boxspring and mattress, night table, dresser and mirror. I am beyond excited to get it paid off and delivered. 

Chloe and I spent the day alone together Sunday. We played, we shopped, I cooked, I cleaned, she napped. Overall a pretty great day. 

Here are just a few of the (bad quality cell) pictures I took between Friday and Sunday night. 

Photo 1 - Hair styled with potatoes
Photo 2 - This Little Piggy

Monkey-see monkey-do shaving her legs (without  a razor, of course)

I love weekends. 

Ps: I'm skipping meal plan Monday again because I'm lazy and don't feel like planning, but if you want a great supper (and leftover!) idea, taco stuffed shells are super yummy. To save money, I used salsa instead of taco sauce, and didn't use sour cream because boyfriend hates it. It's a pretty customizable recipe. He hates cheese too, but I snuck some into the beef mixture when it was cool, and put a lot less of it on top of his side of the shells. Mine could've used more cheese. I ate the leftovers today at work and they're even better then yesterday. Maybe because I threw more shredded cheese on top when I put it in the storage dish. 

This was our weekend

We had a weekend. I don't know if it was good or bad, it was just the weekend.

On Thursday I went and got my sister's cat, because she had to leave her apartment suddenly a few nights before. So now we have a cat. A super cute Siamese cat, but we're still on the fence about keeping it. She, Lily, is a really good cat. Loves cuddling, doesn't bite or scratch on purpose, is good with the kids. But she needs all her fixings and needles and I don't know if we can afford it, and I don't know if we're ready for the responsibility of another living thing in our household. But for now, she's cute enough to keep around. Pictures to come someday. Maybe. 

Photos taken November 3rd

The rest of the weekend was just spent with a bunch of babies. There was lots of baby-on-baby fighting, lots of crying, and trip to take the girls to visit some friends. 

Sunday was just me and Chloe. We had a successful trip to the mall. Successful meaning she didn't cry the entire time, and usually she whines the whole time we're in the car. 

Overall, a decent weekend, I guess, but nothing worth reporting. 

I haven't felt like writing much lately. Maybe you can tell. 

Just another weekend

Monday was Thanksgiving. Boyfriend and I took the girls to my mom's place for turkey dinner. I spent a little too long that morning looking through our two closets to find shirts that would all 'go together' in hopes of taking a semi-decent photo of the four of us. We didn't have much to work with, but I think I came up with nice enough options. And then we never took any photos. 

Typical me. The more effort I put into something like taking photos, the lazier I become at it. At least I documented Chloe's first Thanksgiving last year. 

Mother, me, grandfather and Chloe
Thanksgiving 2011

I still managed to get a few pictures of the girls over the weekend, even though they barely stopped moving long enough. Chloe's walker toy has become her favorite. When she was just a young one, it helped her learn how to sit by leaning forward to play with it. Now that she's a little more mobile, she runs all over the apartment with it, and has even figured out how to swing it around when she gets stuck. Someday soon she's just going to stand and walk out of no where. 

Saturday night boyfriend and I went to his best friend's birthday party. It was a blast, as it always is when we go there. It's nice to get out and socialize every now and then. It had been too long. 

The weekend was a decent one, and I still wasn't disappointed about going back to work. Although I wouldn't complain if every weekend was a three-day one. 

The Last Weekend of 'Summer'

The weekend was a fairly quiet one. Friday night I babysat my cousin's one-month old son overnight. It's been awhile (um, more than 10 months) since I've taken care of a newborn, but as far as newborn babies go, he was easy. He woke up three times between when I went to bed, and when I got up for the day, but he ate quick and went back to bed easily each time. I can't believe I had a newborn and 11 month old in my care overnight and somehow woke up feeling rested. 

My 2nd cousin, Christopher

Saturday was a special day. It was one of the few times that boyfriend and I both had no children for the day AND night. We used the time to go for a long, scenic drive and eventually ended up at his sister's place. We'd been planning on spending the night and having a few drinks, but I started feeling a little sick. Fever kind of sick. 

We tried to wait it out a bit, but in the end we drove the hour back home. By the time we went to bed I was feeling okay, and felt fine in the morning. I'm glad I wasn't sicker, but I wish it wouldn't have ruined our night out. Although I can't complain about lazing around in bed together watching stuff like America's Funniest Home Videos and getting a massage. Nope, can't complain at all. 

We got both our girls back on Sunday and took them downtown for a walk. They both seemed to enjoy it. The rest of the day seemed to speed by, and all of a sudden supper was done, boyfriend gave the girls a bath and I cleaned up. It felt so... family. 

It's a little sad that the summer is winding down, and in about a month free time together will be rare. That's what makes weekends like these so special. 

Upon glancing at this post once again it hit me that I should try to get in a photo myself every now and then. 

Tell me about your weekend. 

The days leading up to the wedding

I went back to my hometown this past weekend to be a bridesmaid in one of my oldest friend's wedding. While I don't want to bore you with all the lame details, I do want to document it for myself so here goes. 


Wednesday, July 18

I hitched a ride back to my hometown area to spend time with a friend who's home on vacation from the other side of the country. Me and baby girl stayed with them for two nights. The first night we met up with some old friends that I hadn't seen in forever for dinner. It was like we were together yesterday. The same old jokes, making fun, and non-stop laughing. Always a good time with this bunch. Chloe was happy as can be the whole night, and even stayed up past 10 when we got back, because she was enjoying all the attention. 

Chloe at the restaurant. Turns out the girl loves lemons

Thursday, July 19

I had an early hair appointment that my friend was nice enough to drive me to, and watch the baby for me. In the afternoon we took an amazing nap together while Chloe napped, then the wedding rehearsal was that evening. The church rehearsal went smoothly enough, and the party afterwards was a good time. We left a little early when Chloe decided she was ready for bed. Me and the friend were in bed almost as soon as Chloe was. Oh, how we love sleep. 

Chloe and my friend C

Chloe, letting us know it was bedtime

Baby girl and my friend S., who is her new best friend since he lets her play with his iPhone

Friday, July 20

I woke up to find a text from boyfriend, mentioning a surprise. The surprise was, he was already at my mom's to surprise me, but I ended up sleeping at my friend's place an hour away. Still, I was happy that he made it up so early. He met me, then took me to drop Chloe back off at my Mom's, then we ate and checked in to our hotel room. We were so excited to find out we had a fridge. 

For some reason, I felt so restless like we needed to do something because it was vacation. We tried to visit a friend of mine, who ended up having to leave before we got there. We tried to stop by the BBQ my engaged friend was having, but she was gone when we got there. Eventually we just went back to the room and killed an hour playing around in the pool and hot tub at the hotel. 

We hung out in our  fancy hotel bathrobes and relaxed until bedtime. Maybe not the most exciting night, but almost my favorite part of the whole week. Of course, I would forget to take any pictures that day. I always used to take pictures of any hotel room I stayed in. I fail. 

I'll recap Saturday and Sunday tomorrow, since Saturday was wedding day and there will be lots of pictures : )

Nothing like spending the weekend with the flu

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I had one hell of a weekend. Because I caught the flu, or food poisoning. I don't know the difference, really. Either way, it was not pleasant. My biggest fear is getting sick, and well, that fear was put to the test.

Luckily, when I first realized how sick I actually was, it was early enough to call my daughter's father and he agreed to take her first thing in the morning for me, since she was already in bed. I was still worried how I would deal with her middle of the night feeding, but when she did get up around 5am, it went pretty smoothly. In the morning I tried to get her ready to go to her father's, but all the movement just made me sicker. 

It's kind of heartbreaking to hear your baby crying but you can't go to her because you're sick. At least it was only because she was cranky. It was a relief when her father finally picked her up, but I was still sad to see her go. I hate being alone when I'm sick. 

After tons of napping and one amazing shower, boyfriend took me to get some food that I could try to attempt, and I spent the night at his place. I've felt fine for a few days now, but I'm still in recovery and trying to build back up my appetite. Being sick is not my friend. 

The rest of my weekend included a nice trip to the park with boyfriend and the girls, a second sleepover with both girls, at his place this time, and a trip to visit some of my family and get my bridesmaids dress fitted on Monday. It was a two hour drive there, and two hours back. Baby girl was not a fan, and we won't be trying that again in one day for a long time.

I have a feeling that the rest of this week is going to be much better. 

The Words Were Finally Said

I had a wonderful weekend. Made even more wonderful when I heard similar words come out of boyfriend's mouth last night. 

I left baby girl with a new babysitter (hello nerves) Friday night while I went to work. The babysitter was late, a huge strike in my book, but her and Chloe seemed to get along really well. I had my sweater on, about to leave work, when boyfriend walked in. He was just getting off work too, even though he was supposed to be done two hours before. He was a little stressed so he asked to come over, then met me back home with food. We were quick to sleep that night, and off he went to work again in the morning. In the same clothes. Kind of like a less dirty walk of shame. 

I did a couple of groceries during the day since we had supper plans that night. He made burgers while I made potatoes and we both tried to get baby girl to sleep. She wasn't having it, so she had late supper with us before I finally got her to bed. Boyfriend fell asleep on the couch on me, so we had another night of just tv and sleep. 

On Sunday baby girl went to her father's. I stopped by boyfriend's place on my way home to relax for a few minutes before I went into cleaning mode. His 17 month old daughter was there and blew me a kiss when I was leaving. I cleaned the apartment and rearranged furniture like it was nobody's business. 

When boyfriend dropped off his girl, he came to my place, and we picked up Chloe. She went to bed easily (for once) so boyfriend cooked some store bought cookie dough and we ate cookies and chips while we watched Dexter. It was a nice night, where both of us were in good moods and feeling playful. Sometimes it's so nice to just be with him. 

We eventually went to bed, and sometime in the dark, in the wee Monday morning hours he told me he thinks he's falling in love with me. I told him I thought so, too. 

It was a lie. 

I know I am. I've felt that way for awhile now. 

Since I have no other photos yet of boyfriend and I,
here's one instead of my cutie's new favorite sleeping position

Weekends are my favorite.

This Mommy stuff has its rough moments. 

Like today, for instance, when I got a tooth pulled, then had to go home to a really cranky daughter, along with having my own gum pains. I'm pretty sure it may still be her ears keeping her a little cranky, or maybe we were both having 'teething pain' together. Who knows, either way, being half frozen and half in pain is not fun to deal with when trying to food a baby who doesn't want to be fed. 

Or even like last night, which was more of a 'daddy moment'. I was visiting boyfriend and his daughter had a rough night where she woke up several time between when he put her to bed and when we went to bed. Our movie ended up taking about three hours to watch, after all the pausing. He kept apologizing like I didn't deal with the same thing from time to time. 

Still, she got us to bed late, and got us up bright and early, and even made a bit of noise in the middle of the night, just for long enough to wake me up. I'm not complaining though. She's a pretty adorable kid, and she'll cuddle with me more than my own baby. Sometimes it still scares me a little that I might be getting a tiny bit attached to someone else's baby, but I'd rather not think about what happens if someday down the road it doesn't work out between me and him. 

Our weekend was good, though. 

Mother was nice enough to watch the baby for the night Saturday and boyfriend came to town to meet me. We went to a party with his sister and some of their friends. It was at a huge empty house that some girl had just started renting. Four bedrooms, all completely empty but one. 

All pretty nice people. There's something so much fun about having a few drinks and getting to know all sorts of random people. And maybe fooling around with drunk boyfriend in a huge closet. 

Either way, it was a great time. Night like that are the perfect balance for all the other nights spent with my gorgeous girl, just sitting around the apartment. Not that I'm complaining about that either. 

A Weekend with my Favorite People

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It's hard to get back into the swing of writing when I had been avoiding it for so long on my old blog.

The weekend was a good one. Baby girl was supposed to spend Saturday overnight with her father but his work schedule had her coming back to me just in time for bed. 

I made my first visit to the beach this year. It was pretty amazing. I wish I lived in a place where I could go to the beach year-round, but then I wonder if it would lose some of its excitement if I could go whenever I wanted. 

Anyhow, I got to spend time with my boy since he was off work early, just watching tv and doing nothing too exciting. As luck would have it, once we went to bed the baby decided it was time to wake up. She was being difficult and it took putting her back to bed once before she would actually get up and drink her bottle and go back to sleep. By that time waiting for me was a sleeping boyfriend. 

Seems like something I've seen in a movie before. 

Little girl of mine had to wake up again a few hours later, but at least this time had her bottle then went back to sleep until a decent waking hour. 

That didn't stop me from being kind of exhausted when I woke up. 

Still, her adorable face makes it a little easier, and waking up to boyfriend makes it that much better. 

Sometimes I still get caught completely off-guard by how great he is. Sometimes it just hits me to the point where I miss him as soon as I know he's about to walk out the door. It's kind of an amazing feeling.