The truth: Some people don't deserve their own children

Life comes at you in the craziest ways. 

Really. 

Somehow I always figured I would end up a single mom at some point. I never ever would've guessed that it would only last about 4 months. I'm sure you know the story: I met a boy. Life was forever changed, blah blah blah. 

Except it's not so 'blah'. 

Being a mom myself, I never imagined he would have full custody of his daughter. "Why would a mother ever want to give up her daughter?" I thought. I always knew Madi would be a part of our lives. A big part. I had no idea how big. 

It turns out a mother can easily want to give up her daughter. Quite the opposite. A mother can fight not to have her daughter. I cannot wrap my head around this at all, since I would kill someone before I let them take my daughter away. But fight to get rid of her? 

First it was a weekend arrangement - she would spend the weekends with her mother. That was her mother's request. From the first weekend she's tried to fight it. 

I'm not sure the real reasons on this. I know the reasons she tells us, but since the stories and circumstances change from week to week, I don't know the real reason. All I know is this weekend her mother refused to open the door and let her own child into her home. "For the good of both her children", she says. 

I've already said more than I meant to, but I'm not taking it back. I don't respect this person in the slightest, but I will respect what privacy she has left, and leave it at that. 

Eric and I have argued more times than I can count. We've talked, we've discussed. But ultimately, we have no control. We can't make this mother want to see her child, and we can't keep her away from her. We get to go along with whatever she requests, at least until legal papers are signed. 

We want this little girl in a stable, loving environment. She is not an option to us. We're tired of changing our schedule from week to week to suit her mother's requests. We want a stable arrangement. We're tired of Madi being shoo-ed out the door at her mother's house because 'it's better for Madi'. 

We've been under so much stress and I'm tired of not talking about it. What is there to hide? 

She's our daughter now. We're going to fight for her. She doesn't deserve to be treated as an option. I hope her mother comes to regret this for the rest of her life. 

I never would've guessed that this is where we would be, after less than two years of dating. It's really crazy when you think about it. I'm not giving up. Ever. 

But it is still so hard sometimes. 

10 Things I Did This Week

1. I made let Eric write for my blog: 10 Facts About Me.

2. I've been addicted to Candy Shoot all week, because the final level seems impossible to beat.

3. One night Eric and I were both in bed by 9:30, and asleep before 10. Go us!

4. I was sick with a minor cold. Chloe, too.

5. I bought second-hand plastic pink storage dressers to help organize the kids' closets better.

6. I got a free lunch, flowers and a teddy bear from my bosses for Administrative Assistant day. 

7. I also got a call the day after saying I won a mug and some free coffee from a local radio station for Administrative Assistant's day because someone nominated me as a great worker. I haven't picked up the prize yet. 

8. I tried to figure out ways to be a little less stressed out about running our home. 

9. I had a short video call with one of my best friends. 

10. I started saving money for new tires for my car. 

Organized Mom 101: The Path to a Home with Less Stress

I don't know how mothers of larger families stay on top of everything. I really don't. 

To lay it all out for you, I work full-time outside of the home, a Monday to Friday daytime job. It's basically perfect. My boyfriend works full-time, but his job doesn't allow him to ever be home before 6:00pm. We have two girls - 19 and 27 months old. 

There's cleaning, there's meal planning (which I fail at), cooking, there's budgeting, scheduling, errand running, list making, and whatever else I'm forgetting. And my life is simple - we don't have any evening activities, homework, etc. 

All these things I do, combined with my boyfriend's horrible memory, makes for a lot of stress. 

Cleaning

I've been using Fly Lady to help figure out a cleaning schedule that works better for us. I do believe in her philosophy that having a shiny, empty sink is the perfect way to start your day. Eric is the one who does the dishes daily, so in order to have the shiny sink, I have to convince him to start doing the dishes at night instead of in the morning.

Some of our problem spots are: kitchen table (kids like to throw food) and clutter building up on the counter, fridge, microwave, tv stand and basically all over. And taking forever to get laundry put away. We need to work harder on our problem spots. 

Organization

I have become a believer in home organization binders. And that makes me feel O.L.D. I'm still trying to throw mine together in hopes that it will relieve a lot of my stress. 

On Pinterest I have a board just for free printables, Here are some of the most helpful ones that I've personally used: 

Free Home Binder Printables 

(Printables for cleaning, meal planning, to-do lists, emergency contacts, basically everything!)

Free Perpetual Birthday Calendar

Anoter free Meal Planning Printable

Errand Running

I refuse to do errands with both girls, and I usually won't even do much with one girl, so I make quick stops after work when I can. Since payday always falls on the weekend that Chloe is with her father, I do most of my shopping that weekend. I do my simple bulk shopping (pancake mix, gluten-free essentials, hot chocolate) at one store after work on Friday. I usually do my full grocery shopping and any other errands on Saturday. I'd rather do the grocery shopping when boyfriend can come with me, otherwise I forget things. 

I have a base grocery list that I alter for every shopping trip, so that I don't forget the important things and so I know how much I need of each. 

I'm going to elaborate more on all of these as I come up with tips and tricks that help for us. This is just what's on my mind today. In the meantime, what are some of your favorite tips and tricks for staying on top of everything at your place? 

I'm Wondering Wednesday

1. 'What's your favorite color' is such a boring question. Is your favorite color now the same as it was when you were a child, and what was it? 

I always liked blue and pink, and probably always will. I can't really pick between the two. 

2. What is/was your dream age to start having children? 

I had my first at 23, less than a month from my 24th birthday. That was a pretty good age. Ideally, I wish I could've waited until 25 to have another year of freedom, but then my life would be completely different now. 

3. Relationship status? And if you're married, how long until you realized you were going to marry the one you were with?

I don't remember. I know now though : )

4. What's one random food that you hate?

Bananas. They make me want to gag. 

Link up with me:

10 Facts About Me, Told By My Boyfriend

There's a blog called From Mrs. to Mama in which I found a really great post idea and link up. The post was called What My Loved One Thinks About Me. Everyone was encouraged to ask a loved one what they thought about them, or list facts about them, and post about it. I adored the idea so much that I asked boyfriend if he wanted to do it. He agreed, if I would do the same for him. So I did. 

He was told to do a list of 15-20 facts, and  that I needed it by the end of the weekend. On Monday, he sent me 10 facts, saying part two was coming later. It's Tuesday and I still don't have part two. I had to 'remind' him enough to do part one.

His list is cute. It kind of makes me smile. While my list more bitter sounding. Welcome to our life.

_____________________________________________

10 Facts About Venassa - As Told By Eric

1. She cares a lot about our children. Lots of toys and visits to the park.

2. She dislikes facial hair.

3. She enjoys the occasional video game, or at least pretends to for me.

4. Vanessa hates when you spell her name wrong.

5. When on trips, she needs to drive there, but not back.

6. Amongst other activities, Venassa enjoys a night at the movies, sometimes regardless of the movie.

7. Venassa is very about family, lots of phone calls and pictures.

9. Venassa enjoys arts and crafts, even though we don't have much time for them anymore.

10. Venassa will be annoyed when she realizes I skipped #8, but will still chuckle. That speaks to her sense of humor.

_____________________________________________

10 Facts About Eric - As Told by Venassa

1. He hates cheese. Who the #?*@ hates cheese?

2. He is the most patient person I've ever met, and it takes a lot to get a reaction out of him. Lucky and unlucky for me. 

3. He is very easily distracted, unless it's me trying to distract him from something. 

4. He gets more sucked into the kid's tv shows than they do. 

5. His name is actually his middle name. He hates being called by his real first name. 

6. He's probably tired of me whining about his relationship with his phone. Most of the days its a toss up as to what he'd save first in a fire - his phone or me. 

7. He is actually really a good father. 

8. He has The Beatles tattooed on his arm, like they're walking around it. I'm sure you've seen a variation of this picture before. He also had a Pi tattoo that he got covered up but you can still see it. He has (I think) two other tattoos, but they're not as strange

9. When I leave my phone unattended around him, I sometimes pick it up to find I have a new background photo. It's always of him, usually a creepy-looking picture. Here are two the latest ones:

10. He insists on tickling me all the time, and is almost always left with battle scars in the end.

_____________________________________________

So that's us. If he ever does his promised 'part 2', I will do a part two of this post, but until then... that is all. 

Currently, I am...

The weekend was okay. I got to spend one day with Chloe, and one day with the whole family. Eric took a personal day off from work Sunday when we got a 7am wakeup call from Madi's mother saying she wanted her to go home. 

After Chloe's super long nap, it was almost supper time but we tried to go to the park anyway. It was too cold so we ended up hanging out home until bedtime. Not unlike a typical night with us. 

I am not in a great mood today, so rather than writing a post about that, I'm going to do one of those "I'm Currently" posts.

Thinking: I wish I had more control over my own life. 

Drinking: Half coffee, half hot chocolate. I wish it was also 1/4 vodka. 

Loving: Buy and sell groups. My wallet, however, doesn't. 

Hating: That me and Chloe both seem to have a cold interfering with our sleep and happiness. 

Stressing Over: The upcoming weekend. 

Listening To: Office sounds. 

Excited About: Not. Much. 

Thankful For: Boyfriend. Eric. He just sent me a message that made me laugh. I didn't think that was possible today. 

Eating: About to eat pasta salad. 

What are you currently doing?

Silent Sunday: This Kid Kills me with Cuteness

April 18, 2013

10 Things I Did This Week

1. I don't want to jinx it but the weather is finally better (we had snow a couple of days the week before!) and the girls were able to go outside to play a few different times. They love it.  

2. I made a Grumpy Cat out of beads. My favorite. 

3. I got to Skype with my friend April for the first time since she had her daughter in March. It was a little chaotic since both of my girls were home, as well as mom, boyfriend, brother and his girlfriend, but still great to be able to see the baby. Emma. 

4. I made an attempt to do 'I'm Wondering Wednesday' on Wednesdays again. I seriously fail at doing scheduled things. I need to live at my own pace. But I try. 

5. My iPod broke on Thursday. It's one of the little touch screen ones, and the button that turns it on and off no longer works, rendering it useless. 

6. I made gluten-free zucchini bread over the weekend for Madi. She seemed to really like it, and it made a ton. *I* even like it. 

7. I went on the hunt for size 4 girls rubber boots. Do you know how impossible those are to find? It got to the point that even all size 5s were sold out, so a friend who lives an hour away picked up a pair of size 5s for me at her local Wal-Mart. I guess the makers of rubber boots don't know that some girls are really small, and at 19 months are fully walking but just fitting into size 4. Little girls need boots too. 

8. I asked boyfriend to take part in a blog post. Hopefully that will all come together this coming week, because he agreed! 

9. Boyfriend and I met up for lunch downtown on Monday, the day that he had off and was home with Madi. 

10. I drank more work coffee, instead of spending money on one every morning.

These are my Pregnancy Friends

I was thinking just yesterday about where most of my blog followers come from. At first I didn't know. Some just found me randomly, but then I realized there was a common thing among a lot of my followers, and a lot of the favorite blogs I follow: pregnancy. I discovered a lot of your blogs when I was pregnant, because a lot of you were pregnant around the same time. 

Nicole - Pampers and Pumps

Katherine - Irish Italian Blessings

Sean - A Mad Girl's Love Song

Shannon - From Match to Marriage

Noelle - Because Nice Matters

Shelley - Hand in Hand

Kaylee - Moore Kaylee*

Valerie - Next to Heaven*

(in no particular order)

(* means they stopped blogging shortly after baby birth)

All those babies are going on two years old this year. 

I've been following Katie at Loves of Life since the day she wrote about her first daughter being born. Her second baby is about 8 months old now. I've been following Jess at Wrangling Chaos since before her youngest was born. Her youngest is older than Chloe. 

It's just so strange yet amazing to me that I'm watching these children grow up. Children I've never met, and probably never will. Which is sad, but hey, I'm Canadian. But because of blogging I know about these kids, and so I wonder and care about them. 

None of my real life friends have children (until a new addition was born March 17th) so I don't have this in common with anyone else. Just a bunch of my favorite bloggers. 

It's really kind of cool if you ask me. 

So thanks for letting me be a creeper and follow along with your life. And thanks for sticking around and following mine. I know how boring I can be. 

And if you're not one of the bloggers who was pregnant at the same time as me, how did you find my blog?

I'm Wondering Wednesday

It's been awhile. Not that anyone probably cared. But it's time for 'I'm Wondering Wednesday!' So link up if you want below. 

1. Are you a coupon user?

Yes! I just printed a few off today. My favorite Canadian coupon sites are Save.ca, Smart Source, and Coupons Canada. I remember using at least 4 coupons while food shopping over the weekend, all for stuff we normally buy. 

2. What's your favorite money-saver?

Skip on cable. We do have it now, thanks to a really good promotion, but when the promo is over we'll be getting rid of it. Or whenever Big Brother Canada is over. We haven't decided yet. Netflix is a much better bang for your buck. 

3. What's one thing that you'd give up to save money, except you can't live without it?

The internet. No explanation needed. 

4. What's your favorite big splurge? (Vacation, car, etc)

Right now it would be my new bedroom set. 

The Best Gluten-Free Zucchini Bread Recipe

Let me start off by saying that I am not gluten-free. My boyfriend's daughter is (dairy-free, as well), and I don't find a lot of her food to look, smell or even taste that great. I wanted to make her some zucchini bread, because her diet is so limited and that's something they serve at daycare, so I could send a bunch there so she could eat what the other kids are eating.

So I don't usually eat this stuff, but I tried these and they were so good! My brother even loved them and kept bugging me to let him eat more. They're really sweet, so since they're for a young child I'll probably put less sugar the next time around. 

I was really impressed with the ingredients. It didn't call for anything too crazy - I already had rice flour on hand so I just needed a little more cornstarch and tapioca flour. I got those at the bulk food store. I don't remember the cost since I bought a few treats for myself, but it was definitely under $6. Then I bought one big zucchini, and the rest of the ingredients I had on hand.

* Note: The recipe calls for "1 tablespoon xanthan gum", which I knew nothing about so I googled it to find out that not only was it really expensive, a lot of people preferred the taste when they left it out. That's all I needed to hear, so I left it out.

I used this recipe: Gluten-free Zucchini bread. The recipe is for 24 servings, and it does not lie. It made a lot. I made 18 muffins and 3 small loaves of bread out of it.

INGREDIENTS: 

3 eggs

2 cups sugar

1/4 cup canola oil

1/4 cup unsweetened applesauce

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 1/2 cups cornstarch

3/4 cup rice flour

3/4 cup tapioca flour

1 tablespoon cinnamon

1 tablespoon baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

2 cups fresh zucchini, grated

1/2 cup walnuts (optional)

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2. Beat the eggs until foamy then add sugar, oil, and applesauce.
* I used the regular attachments for my electric mixer for the entire recipe, like these ones *

3. In a separate bowl, mix the dry in ingredients and then add them to the egg mixture and beat in electric mixer for about 3 minutes or until batter is mixed well and becomes very thick. Add vanilla then nuts and zucchini.

If baking as a loaf, grease two large loaf pans and fill each 1/2 full. Bake for approximately 1 hour and 10 minutes, testing to be sure the middle is cooked through. If your oven cooks the tops of these loaves too quickly, cover with aluminum foil to prevent burning (after about 25-35 minutes). If you want to use this as a breakfast bread, you can sprinkle the tops with Confectioner's sugar.

* I used really small loaf pans so mine cooked somewhere around 30-45 minutes. When greased with canola oil, the loaf just popped right out when turned over *

If baking as muffins, grease and 1/2 fill 24 muffin tins. Bake for approximately 30 minutes, testing to be sure the middle is cooked through.

And enjoy!

The Weekend: Boyfriend's Birthday and a New Dog

I need a new blog design. I am so bored with the one I have now. I have the newest Windows on my computer at home, so I hate it and almost never use it, and I don't have photoshop at work. I just don't have it in me to play with my design myself like I've done in the past. 

Sadly, I just can't dish out the money right now for something as unimportant as my blog design when half of our household needs new shoes before the spring weather hits. Sadly shoes are priority. But I think if I had a new blog design I'd be a lot more interested in blogging. I just hate looking at my blog these days. 

The weekend flew by. As always. Saturday was boyfriend's 25th birthday. It was nothing too special since he convinced me to give him his birthday present about a month ago when I first bought it. The beads we play with so often. 

My mother got a dog this weekend. Chloe is a pretty big fan. She's also a little rough with him. It's just a little thing - a Shih-Poo, I guess it's called. We didn't know what to name him, but the first name Mom jokingly suggested seems to have stuck - Winston. It's fitting. 

I finally put together the wagon I bought for the girls for Easter. I pulled them in it in the house a couple of times and they were in giggling fits. I guess they love it. Even my brother thought it would be fun to hop in. 

Mondays are my least favorite part of the week. And it's not even for the same reason as everyone else. Yeah, the weekend is over and a long week is stretching ahead, but mostly it's because I take the backseat to wrestling on Monday nights. Yeah, wrestling. Ew. I'd try to give it a chance, I really would, but any little bit I've ever seen has always been so dumb that I'd rather watch Chloe's tv shows. They seem more mature. 

So by 9:30 pm tonight, I'll be laying in my bed watching the first episode of season 6 of Boy Meets World. What about you?

Happy Monday!

6 Things I Did This Week

1. Saturday we went to a party with boyfriend's friends. It was an okay time. 

2. I found out my birth control pills were recalled. Hello, pregnancy scare. I found out I was definitely not pregnant barely 24 hours later. 

3. I miss reading and stuff, but can't bring myself to do it. 

4. Boyfriend and I made a bank out of beads. It is kind of awesome. We're too poor these days to spare the money to put in it though.

5. Chloe got her 18 month needles. How the hell is she 18 (almost 19) months already?!

6. It was boyfriend's birthday this Saturday (13th). We had dinner, then watched a movie with his friend and girlfriend. Not a bad night. 

Are You With the Right Person?

Someone posted this on Facebook, without any credit or anything. I'm not going to say too much about it, but I do like the message that it sends. Let me know what you think. 

[ via ]

During a seminar, a woman asked,"How do I know if I am with the right person?"

The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind
replied the author.

Here's the answer.

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you
fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls,
want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you
may begin to desire that experience with someone
else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this):

The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know
WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.

3 Things I've Been Neglecting

What happens when I walk into the room and boyfriend starts taking my picture with my own phone.

3 Things I've Been Neglecting

Crafting

All things crafting. Like when I decorated the letters of Chloe's name with Mod Podge and scrapbook paper. I started some for Madi before Christmas and haven't gotten too far with them. I miss crafting, but never want to do it when free time actually rolls around.

Reading

I used to be able to read a book in a week or so. I got an E-reader in October, hoping that it would get me back into reading. I've been reading the same book ever since. 50 Shades of Grey. I'm just not getting into it. Hopefully the next book I pick will pull me in a little more. 

Me

I don't relax. I don't remember how. I think I need to do the two things above, and re-figure this one out. 

3 Things I've Been Doing Too Much

iPhone

I play on it a little too much. I try to put it away at home if the girls want to play with me, but if they're immersed in tv or playing with each other, it's fair game. 

Cleaning

Nothing is ever clean enough, but sometimes I just need to let it go and relax. 

Being Bored

It's time to just start living, stop worrying. Just enjoy the moment. I really need to work on this.

What are your three things?

Ps: Not pregnant. High five?

A bit of a scare

Dear Birth Control Recall, 

[ via ]

You really got me thinking. 

I've been taking my pills like a good girl, so I've never had reason to worry. But finding out you may have been taken placebos for an extra week? Yeah, a little scary. 

We have two little girls in diapers. I don't want to make it three, even if this one might be a boy. I do want a boy. We also have two little girls that don't always sleep through the night. Last night was prime example, since each girl made their noisy appearance once. Once each is a good night. Not at all is a rare, amazing night these days. I'm not sure I'm quite ready to add a newborn into that mix. 

I have been feeling weird lately. I thought it was because I was using a new brand of birth control. The feeling started a little too early for me to think that it's related to the recall, and that's a bit comforting. And if I am affected, I'll know in less than a week. That's also comforting. 

But really, if I am, maybe it was meant to be. 

If I am, we'll deal. If not, there will be no tears of disappointment on my end. 

Does this count as my first pregnancy scare?

Party Weekend

Another weekend has passed. 

This one wasn't my usual kid and cleaning filled weekend. I still did both of those things, but Saturday night boyfriend and I had some drinks with friends. I think it was boyfriend and I. I didn't see him a whole lot all night. 

Early on in the night it crossed my mind that I never take pictures at parties anymore. So I quickly snapped a bunch of random phone pictures. It would be weird if I shared the ones of random strangers, but here's boyfriend and I. 

We were home by two, and up with Chloe around 8. I sat Chloe in her chair to eat breakfast and went upstairs for a minute. While upstairs I just wanted to lay down for a minute. And so I napped for about an hour while boyfriend watched Chloe, unasked. Oops. 

When I was awake, boyfriend woke his friend up and Mom watched Chloe so we could eat. When we got home, I napped with Chloe again. I think I could've napped all day. 

Boyfriend left me alone with the kids Sunday night to watch wrestling with his friends, a huge yearly thing. As luck would have it, Chloe didn't want to go to bed, and woke up twice more through the night. Madi was only up once. But after all that napping, I'm still tired today. 

Happy Monday. 

7 Things I Did This Week

1. We had Easter dinner with my family on Sunday. It was a lot of work, but worth it, I think. 

2. Our new bedroom set arrived on Tuesday. Now we just need a bigger bedroom so it doesn't feel so big and overwhelming ;)

3. Mom started staying with us for awhile. You could call that a big change. 

4. I had a dentist appointment, and finally only have a couple more cheap appointments to go to before all work is done. Oh, except wisdom teeth. I still need those babies out, too. 

5. The weather has really started to depress me. We haven't had snow in a few days, but it's gotten freezing outside. It's April. Get with it, Mother Nature. 

6. I felt bad for skipping '10 Things I Did Last Week' two weeks in a row, so I wrote up a post after the weekend and posted it to Sunday's date. Kind of like cheating. I missed doing this post on time, so back posted it for Saturday. I can't bring myself to blog from home. 

7. Chloe started learning animal sounds - cow and sheep. 

1. I like when boyfriend babysits the girls cause then I get to request random pictures throughout the day
2. The 3 children playing :p
3 & 4 - Blurry, but the girls are having so much fun here playing on the bed

5 Things.

1. I posted a video of the girls 'dancing' in the car to Gangnam style, and said at the bottom  that there was a secret. A boring secret. If you view the video on YouTube, you might realize it's posted by boyfriend, and so his real name is posted. To save you the trouble of looking (assuming you care), his name is Eric. I may or may not still call him boyfriend from this point on. Eric is quicker to type though. 

2. In my post about Easter, I mentioned some changes. They happened. Mom moved in last night, and I got my new bedroom set. Hopefully it works out nicely, having Mom with us for awhile. I can't see how it won't. As for the bed, Eric and I both agree that it's too soft. We're get used to the lack of firmness in the mattress, and the insane fluffiness of the new comforter. 

3. I took some pictures while we visited a friend of mine last night, waiting to meet Mom. Mostly of Madi. Chloe wasn't being very photogenic. 

4. This weekend is party weekend. Eric's friends all get together for a boring wrestling thing Sunday night. I won't be attending. But Saturday night they also have a party. I'll be attending that one. We're both really looking forward to it. 

5. I have a severe addiction to buying second hand baby clothes. I honestly can not seem to stop myself. It usually starts with me needing one thing, but then I end up with 10-20 things. I need to try to have better control. I wish I was kidding. 

Our Bedroom: The New Look!

I posted the before pictures of my sad, sad college-esque bedroom. 

I had new bedroom furniture delivered just hours after that post went up. 

I do love it. It's so... adult. And classy. 

But one thing you don't realize about completely re-doing your bedroom furniture is how attached you might be to your old bed. 

My new bed is higher, much higher. It's pillow top, so while that sounds comfy (and it is!) I'm used to a firm mattress. And it seems to dip a bit, mostly because boyfriend is about double my weight. Add to that the fact that we also put a new bedding set on, and it's like sleeping in a strangers house. The new comforter is still pretty fluffy and overwhelming. 

Last night was night two, and I already slept much better than night one. It just takes adjusting. 

Please excuse my cell-quality photos. 

I can't just 'sit' on the bed. I have to jump/climb a little

Excuse the mess. I really don't want my tv/Blu-ray player/Wii on my dresser, but that's where it's going for now. 

I never minded our tiny room until now. Now I wish we had a little more space. But definitely a huge improvement over what we had before. Thank God for taxes. We're too poor to afford this s**t on our own. Now,  to start brainstorming on what to save for next. 

My Bedroom: The Before Pictures

Last week I made a huge (not really) announcement about how I'm getting new bedroom furniture. My mom helped pay it off so we could get it a little faster, so it was delivered yesterday. Yes, my bedroom finally looks like adults might sleep there. 

I took some 'before' pictures on Monday night. I'm going to share them, in all their patheticness. 

Exhibit A:

Night table that is a reject from Mom's old bedroom set. The dresser is an antique dresser, that could use a little 'pick me up' and would like great elsewhere. A random end table is next to my night table. My curtain? Is one panel thumb-tacked on one end, and hanging on an old hook at the other end. I have a touch lamp and an alarm clock that I haven't used the alarm on in over a year. The green thing on my dresser? A Christmas card I never sent. The tall mirror? The frame is oh so broken. 

Also included: Boyfriends foot and Chloe. 

Exhibit B:

Just a continuation of exhibit A.

Exhibit C:

Vacuum just hanging out, waiting to be used when we move the old bed out. New bedding set sitting on the floor, waiting to be put on. Clothes and such in the closet. 

The Awful Exhibit D:

The bed. Est in 2005. I got this bed when I first moved away from home. It's comfy thing, but I can't wait to see it go. It's a double, and the box spring has been ripped apart on the sides so I could pull out the cardboard that made it really squeaky. My bed doesn't squeak, but it sure is ugly. 

I can't wait to get the new bedding on the new bed. Maybe then I'll feel like making it.

So, ladies and.. well, ladies. Do you agree that I needed a bit of an upgrade?

Confession: I've Called My Baby Annoying

I've called my child annoying before. 

That's one thing that's a little harder to admit. I've said it to my mother before, and she got a little mad. I see her point. My daughter is just a baby. She's so innocent, so doesn't really know much about what's right and what's wrong. And she's certainly not annoying. She does things that might be a little annoying, but she isn't. 

I'll also admit that I've raised my voice at the same, sweet little girl. 

It hurts her feelings, and I know it, but sometimes it happens before I can stop myself. 

There are a lot of things that, as a parent it's really hard to admit. 

We all want to be kind, patient, and loving towards our children all the time. 

We want to, but that's not always possible. 

There are few things more stressful than picking up a cranky baby after a long, tiring day at work. You're both starving, and you're both in a bad mood. You just want to throw food on the table as fast as possible, so both of you will be a little less cranky. But it never works out that simply, because the baby is tugging at your leg. She's whining, she's crying, and then she's throwing a full-on tantrum on the floor. All while you scramble to fix her dinner. 

Sometimes it's hard not to snap a little. I don't think I'm alone in that. 

Or maybe you have more patience than I do. Or maybe you snap more often. I don't know, but we all do it at least once. 

Sometimes snapping at a baby feels like a huge weakness. A huge one. Raised voice and mean words hurt, and I know this. But real weakness? 

Real weakness is hitting. Some people hit their children. And not just a spank on the butt or a slap on the hands. And not like that time my mother slapped me for saying a bad word and knocked a loose tooth out of my mouth. Some people really hurt their children.I will never hurt my girl. And I hope I'm not alone in that either. 

But abuse is not my topic here. It's dealing. 

With two kids now, I know I need more patience, and lately one thing I've read (God-knows-where) really sticks with me when the girls are doing something I don't like. They are not purposely trying to annoy me. It's true. They're just exploring and playing and having fun. So if they throw all the books on the floor and start ripping out pages, it's not to purposely push my buttons. 

And that one little phrase has helped me to react a little better a few times already. 

Although in all honesty, when I tell them 'no' and they look at me with that "Make me' face, it kind of makes me wonder if they really are purposely trying to annoy me. 

Toddlers be tricky. 

But I'm trying not to call them annoying. 

Easter and Stuff

I'm a little behind on blogging, as I just don't have much time or energy to do it from home. I try not to worry about it too much, because it's not like it's a job but I do like to have things documented in here, so I whipped up a quick '10 things I did this week' post right now and posted it to Sunday's date. Is that cheating?

We celebrated Easter this weekend. 

On Friday morning. 

Because the girls would be gone Sunday morning, and boyfriend worked early on Saturday morning. 

The girls got a bunch of clothes (boring), some beach toys, and we had a mini egg hunt with some plastic eggs. They played with those plastic eggs for most of the day after that. Carrying them around in their buckets or in their plastic pot. It was pretty cute. 

Saturday the kids went with their other parents, and I had the day alone to clean, like I usually do. When boyfriend got off work, we had some pizza and went to the movies to see The Call. Very good movie. Very 'on the edge of your seat'. 

Sunday we picked the girls up early and made a two hour trip to have supper with my mother and grandfather at my aunt and uncles. The driving was one of the worst trips ever - with Chloe crying most of the way there, some of the way back, and Madi crying for the last half hour or so of the way back. I don't want to do that again for a long time. 

But at least they had fun while we were there. And they got to wear pretty dresses. Pretty, super cheap dresses I got from a kids thrift store. 

Now it's Monday, I'm back at work for another week. Changes are coming this week. We'll talk about some of those later.