"We need to talk"

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Lately I've been feeling a little... meh... when it comes to my relationship. 

Yeah, give me a muzzle and shut me up, it's boyfriend stuff again. 

It's just that's it starting to feel less and less like a relationship. 

Most days, we don't exchange a word at all, if we do, it's straight to business and it's done. If I try to even just text 'talk', it's like he humors me for a minute, then it's one-word answers and I stop. I don't carry on a conversation with one word replies. He's busy, I get it. But he used to talk to me. Complain about work, ask about my day, anything. Now it's just... nothing. 

Then I've come to notice that we don't talk a whole lot anymore when we're together. He's got a slight addiction to his phone, so whenever he's over, he spends a nice chunk of time playing around on his phone, and I just play with the baby. Then we watch tv. That's alllllllllll we do. When we're not watching tv, it's because we have both of our children and they're running/crawling wild and there's not much time to sit, let alone watch tv. And even then, we're mostly just talking to babies instead of each other. 

I usually only see him twice, maybe three times a week. I always see him the day he has his daughter, and usually one night after work he'll spend the night (like 11pm until 11am, insert sleeping). And if I'm lucky, I'll see him one other day, usually the other day of the week that he has his daughter. So our time together is spent a) watching two babies, or b) when it's past my bedtime. 

When my daughter goes with her father, and you would think we could spend time together, he's either at work until 11pm, or he has his daughter. There's no quality time in there anywhere. It's not quality time if I'm half asleep. Or actually asleep. He rarely takes a day off from taking his daughter (which is great, don't get me wrong), and when he does, he'll spend the majority of the day "cleaning" as he calls it, which is a whole lot of watching tv and video games. 

He talks of all the things he wants us to do the next time we 'have no babies', but that never happens. The list is growing and growing, but we never do anything. I'm not sure we've had dinner outside of the house alone yet. We made it to the movies once, but I had to find a sitter twice, because the first time he cancelled last minute because his ex made him take his daughter. When he's off work early, the time is almost never spent with me, and if it is, it seems like we always have to be with other people. 

So to sum up, we don't spend any time actually alone together, unless we're sleeping or about to. We don't do anything outside of the apartment besides shop or take babies to the park. We watch way too much tv. And we barely say a word to each other, together or not. 

Again, don't get me wrong, he is a great guy and I'd like to think this relationship isn't going down the drain. It does have its wonderful moments when we're all playful and laughing and I just can't wait to see him again. But the rest of the time it's all blah, and I wonder if I'll even see him at all in the run of a week. 

Is it wrong to want to feel like there's something real here, more than once every couple of weeks? To feel like I'm special, and not just a way to pass the time? 

I'm just tired of feeling like I'm always waiting for it to get easier. It's not going to get easier. Soon I'll be working full-time, and we'll have less time together. He might get earlier shifts at work. We might someday live together. I don't want to always feel like I'm just waiting for things to be great. Why can't they be great now? They used to be. 

I know I need to talk to him, but I just don't know where to start.

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Ps.. Don't forget to come back and link up your Adult DIY pins tomorrow!