Monday, July 22, 2013

Waiting..

I don't want to talk about stuff anymore. 

The weekend was okay. Chloe was gone, so I cleaned and had some 'me' time. I said 'fuck anxiety' and I had coffee. The day was great. But the coffee killed my appetite, and then I spent the entire evening feeling sick from hunger, but the thought of any food made me feel worse. I managed to get down some milk. I fell asleep, still felt bad when I woke up around 1am, but felt fine in the morning. Well, not fine. I was super sad and depressed feeling after being woken up at 6:20am by Madi on my day to sleep in. But I didn't feel sick. I spend more days feeling sick than not lately. I don't know how to help myself anymore. I'm miserable. 

I go for counselling tomorrow. But since it's about $100, it'll probably be a one time thing. I'm not sure what one time will do, but I hope it does something. 

I need to feel better. 

3 comments:

Shannon said...

I'm sorry you still feel so bad, have you tried Xanax? It works wonders for me, though I try my best not to take it everyday just the days when I'm feeling REALLY anxious.

Mo @ The Baby is Fine said...

i'm really sorry you're having such a hard time. i hope the counseling is helpful - i think one time can be helpful; the counselor can pack a lot of good info and advice into that one hour! if you tell him/her you can only afford this one time, maybe he or she will have some advice about where to get cheaper therapy, too.

god luck!

Baby Sister said...

I'm so sorry. :( I really hope the counseling helps...even if it is just one time.

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