"I Wish You Had Life Goals"

With all the changing coming up this month in our household, I've been doing a lot of thinking about other families. You learn a lot about the differences in families when you're a regular on a local Facebook 'Mommy' group. 

We're on of the 'working' households. We both work. Full-time right now, until my job ends in a couple of weeks, but hopefully I'll have something full-time shortly after. We will be doing shift work. We don't eat family suppers because Eric is rarely home for supper and the kids can't wait until 7pm to be fed. We rarely have weekends together. 

Do don't do many fun family activities. We won't be apple picking. Hell, we can barely manage all our errands some weeks. 

But we survive. Our kids are fed and have more clothes and toys than they could ever need. We live in a decent townhouse. We have one decent car. Sometimes we struggle, but we get by. 

There are many that are less fortunate than us, and many that are much better off. 

I never have, and still don't want to be a full-time stay at home Mom. I love my kids, but I also love my break from them. I love helping to provide for my family. But I'm jealous of stay-at-home Moms. I'm not sure of all their different circumstances, but what it all adds up to is that they can financially afford to be able to stay home. We can't. 

Sometimes I think it's because it's cheaper for them to stay home than to pay for childcare and I can totally understand that. But some of them still stay home after their kids are off to school. It sounds nice to have that option. 

I'm not sure we'll ever be that family. Eric and I both have very basic jobs. We're not doctors or lawyers or plumbers. We just do what we can to make the ends meet. After thinking about this one day, out of no where I told Eric "I wish you had life goals." At first he was confused, but I wish there was something he wanted to do with his life. A career passion. I wish living on one income could be an option for us someday, so money wouldn't always be a worry. 

But I understand all too well what it's like to not know what you want to do with your life. I thought I knew, but from that all I got were huge student loans. He doesn't want to make the same mistake and I can't fault him for that. 

I still can't stop myself from wishing it was different though. But either way, we're in this together.