"We need to talk"

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Lately I've been feeling a little... meh... when it comes to my relationship. 

Yeah, give me a muzzle and shut me up, it's boyfriend stuff again. 

It's just that's it starting to feel less and less like a relationship. 

Most days, we don't exchange a word at all, if we do, it's straight to business and it's done. If I try to even just text 'talk', it's like he humors me for a minute, then it's one-word answers and I stop. I don't carry on a conversation with one word replies. He's busy, I get it. But he used to talk to me. Complain about work, ask about my day, anything. Now it's just... nothing. 

Then I've come to notice that we don't talk a whole lot anymore when we're together. He's got a slight addiction to his phone, so whenever he's over, he spends a nice chunk of time playing around on his phone, and I just play with the baby. Then we watch tv. That's alllllllllll we do. When we're not watching tv, it's because we have both of our children and they're running/crawling wild and there's not much time to sit, let alone watch tv. And even then, we're mostly just talking to babies instead of each other. 

I usually only see him twice, maybe three times a week. I always see him the day he has his daughter, and usually one night after work he'll spend the night (like 11pm until 11am, insert sleeping). And if I'm lucky, I'll see him one other day, usually the other day of the week that he has his daughter. So our time together is spent a) watching two babies, or b) when it's past my bedtime. 

When my daughter goes with her father, and you would think we could spend time together, he's either at work until 11pm, or he has his daughter. There's no quality time in there anywhere. It's not quality time if I'm half asleep. Or actually asleep. He rarely takes a day off from taking his daughter (which is great, don't get me wrong), and when he does, he'll spend the majority of the day "cleaning" as he calls it, which is a whole lot of watching tv and video games. 

He talks of all the things he wants us to do the next time we 'have no babies', but that never happens. The list is growing and growing, but we never do anything. I'm not sure we've had dinner outside of the house alone yet. We made it to the movies once, but I had to find a sitter twice, because the first time he cancelled last minute because his ex made him take his daughter. When he's off work early, the time is almost never spent with me, and if it is, it seems like we always have to be with other people. 

So to sum up, we don't spend any time actually alone together, unless we're sleeping or about to. We don't do anything outside of the apartment besides shop or take babies to the park. We watch way too much tv. And we barely say a word to each other, together or not. 

Again, don't get me wrong, he is a great guy and I'd like to think this relationship isn't going down the drain. It does have its wonderful moments when we're all playful and laughing and I just can't wait to see him again. But the rest of the time it's all blah, and I wonder if I'll even see him at all in the run of a week. 

Is it wrong to want to feel like there's something real here, more than once every couple of weeks? To feel like I'm special, and not just a way to pass the time? 

I'm just tired of feeling like I'm always waiting for it to get easier. It's not going to get easier. Soon I'll be working full-time, and we'll have less time together. He might get earlier shifts at work. We might someday live together. I don't want to always feel like I'm just waiting for things to be great. Why can't they be great now? They used to be. 

I know I need to talk to him, but I just don't know where to start.

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Ps.. Don't forget to come back and link up your Adult DIY pins tomorrow! 

Once upon a bridal shower

My close friend M's bridal shower was this Sunday. It was quick, low-key event, but there was great food and some entertaining games. And as always, it was great to see my friend since she lives about 5 hours away from me. 

She scored lots of goodies, then the day was over. Next stop, wedding rehearsal. 

Here are a few photos from the day. 

Me, the bride, and Sarah

The bride and her sisters

Me in my toilet paper wedding dress

M putting on her 'honeymoon outfit' blindfolded, which was just a bunch of random items

Still putting it on

Opening a few gifts

Me and the bride

Did you have a bridal shower theme? Tell me about your wedding shower, or one you'd like to have or throw for someone else. 

Silent Sunday: Bubbles!!

So... I babysat for my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend.

It's Saturday. There's never much to say on a Saturday, but this time around, I'm waiting for a baby to wake up to get this weekend going. I'm heading out to spend the night at a friend's place so we can head out to another friend's bridal shower tomorrow afternoon. It should be a good time. 

This week was a decent one. 

On Tuesday I went out of town with boyfriend and both babies to see an old friend of his who was home for a few days. I met a few nice people and some cute kids. As usual, the day flew by. 

Thursday was a day of work. It flew by as well, but at the end of the day I didn't have to pick up baby girl at day care because her father did, and was keeping her for the night. I used my time to clean the apartment a bit, then got a random message from my boyfriend's ex. She asked me to babysit her kids for a few hours and in the end, I decided what the hell. They were both asleep, never made a peep, and boyfriend came over to her place when he got off work. 

It was my first time actually talking much with her, and it wasn't awkward at all. Even though I know she has a bitchy side, she was really nice and funny. I didn't expect it at all, but I got paid for babysitting and me and boyfriend came back to my place. 

Friday was a rough day, since I had to pick baby girl up around the time she should've been having her nap. Her naps were all messed up, her meals were all messed up, and we had a pretty cranky day together. I was pretty relieved to get her to bed, and me not too long after. 

Hopefully this coming week will be a little less... cranky. 

Now, tell me about your week! 

Favorite Funnies from Pinterest and Future Link-Up

I don't know about you, but I am a serial repinner, which by my definition means that I just repin so many things for later use, without ever actually checking the link. Some things I repin, and later decide I'm not interested, the link doesn't work, the link doesn't provide as much info as I thought it would. But usually I discover great things. 

So join with me and revisit your pins, one board at a time. If you have a lot of pins, only go through what you want to. The goal is to get rid of any bad pins, get everything more organized if possible, and find 5 awesome pins to share with everyone on your blog, then come back here and link up. Post the photos, and links to the pins. 

We will link up every Thursday with a new board category. I will list the categories below, so you'll know in advance. For this week, I'm just going to share five pins from my LoL board. Cause you can't go wrong with the funny stuff. 

If you decide to do the same today, leave me your link and I promise to leave you some love. 

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Upcoming Link-up Categories: 
- DIY for adults - June 28
- Desserts and sweets - July 5
(If you don't have a board directly related, feel free to link up something similar, like any DIY, etc)


Hope to see you next week!